"Well, you tell me. If I have lunch with someone else tomorrow, are Blair's minions gonna break her fingers?" Yes, but only because they don't know any straight guys to knock your head in, basically. Serena is disgusted, finally -- finally -- and the flames start licking along her face, a little bit. "Just so you know," she says, brushing past him, "If this were a competition? I wouldn't need Blair and her posse to win." GET SCARED. NOW. I know that fake smile; it's like a dog showing teeth. Remember when we talked about the neckties, the wolves in the neckties? It's part of that. My mouth smile says, "Okay, we're playing this by the rules," but my eye lack-of-smile says, "You are on thin fucking ice." Amanda, hair whipping about in the hot backdraft vacuum of Serena's exit, informs Dan that she's not into being intimidated by bullies, and asks him out. He thinks a beat and decides he's not afraid of bullies either. Which is fine, but they're both retarded because this isn't about "bullies," it's something else entirely. Something better and scarier and infinitely more powerful, pointed right at your dumb little heads.
Blair sits on a couch in a pretty flowery dress, hair pulled to the side. She looks adorable. Vanessa towers over her, apologizing and over-explaining: "I'm so sorry Blair but like I said Catherine knows where the Captain is and she threatened to expose him if I ever took Nate away from her but with this I was hoping that you might..." B finally shuts her up, speaking sharply through a swollen throat: "-- Who else knows?" V doesn't get it immediately, and B spits: "Who's seen this?" Shaken, Vanessa tells her she's only showed it to Dan. Vanessa, you're beside the point now. Get out. You're done. Blair sends the pictures to herself (and it says "Blair's Phone," like they have each other's names and numbers saved, maybe in case Nate gets lost or something). "If you or Humphrey ever breathe a word of this... One word. To anyone. You'll regret it for the rest of your lives. Do you understand?" Vanessa nods, saying she doesn't particularly want anybody to know any of these sordid details, she just wants Nate okay. Blair stands up, bereft, and promises to take care of it. She sounds like a ghost. Vanessa, unable to pass up the chance to be obnoxious and rude just one more time, is like, "I'm trusting you, Blair." Like you fucking have a choice, Blair points out, and V acts all sympathetic for a second before Blair chases her out of the apartment with only her eyes. Once she's gone, Blair crumbles. If she's not the Princess anymore, who is she?