Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Cansei de Ser Stupid

"Look, you're gonna date other people, and I'm gonna date other people. We can either let everyone else tell us how we should be jealous and compete, or we can just deal with it and try to preserve at least a little of our friendship." Dan asks if she's saying the three of them should go on a date, and she asks him in a very Lily-like manner to find another way to say it, but yeah. He agrees, almost calling it a date again, and as she walks off he notes that this shouldn't be weird in the slightest. ("I'll bring the bread you'll bring the wine/ This party's over one last time: Burn it all down.")

Vanessa, who can't seem to go fucking five seconds without creeping and sneaking and spying, watches Lord Marcus fondle Blair's hand on the table and make sweetie-pie conversation, and makes a fatal mistake of judgment. Inside, Marcus is like, "Oh we will have such fun over hols with a crackling fire and the snow and stars and whatever," and Blair pulls her hand out of his sweaty, creepy grasp, fake-smiling with a cry voice "Sure it won't be awkward?" He, of course, doesn't get it, putting her even higher at the table. "Juggling two women under one roof? ...You are sleeping with Catherine, right? Or do you prefer Mom?" He stammers and stutters, and Blair quietly laughs at him. "Hooking up with your dad's second wife? I thought my family was twisted, but you people take the cake." Marcus swears it only happened a few times, and lies that he stopped it when he met B. She doesn't even bother. "I really opened myself up to you," she says mournfully. He asks if they can work it out, and she really busts out a laugh this time: "Oh, please. I just want to get through this without throwing up in my mouth." Which is a step in the right direction: I'd really like her to get through both of these storylines without throwing up at all.

"Get through what exactly?" asks Catherine, arriving haughtily. "I got your message. What's going on here?" Blair tiredly tells her to sit her ass down, and Catherine begs her pardon. "Oh no, not yet," B says, sending her the photos, "But you will." Catherine receives the message, looks at him and breathes, and sits her ass down as told. "What do you want." Marcus has a headache identical to his mother's. "Let's talk about your exit strategy," B eyebrows brightly.

Fucking meanwhile Vanessa has taken the photos to the Duke, because she is a moron. "Yea, ye overwhelm the fatherless, and ye dig a pit for your friend." I read that in a book this one time.

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Gossip Girl




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