Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Cansei de Ser Stupid

The Plastics stir up their vile cocktail and Penelope woodenly tosses it at the back of Amanda's head, which immediately begins dropping hair like your teeth in that one dream. She totally screams and spazzes out and stumbles around crazily, making little awesome whining terror noises and almost passing out. It's tremendous! She runs off and won't let Dan talk to her or her bald head, and of course Serena has sobered up with a quickness and run to Amanda's aid. "Dan. I'm so sorry. Is she okay?" Dan tells her to go fuck herself, and once again Serena's like, "YOU WERE STANDING RIGHT HERE. YOU KNOW I DIDN'T DO THIS. TIME AND SPACE." He just shakes his head like he can't even believe how clueless Serena is about her own suckiness. "That's the Serena van der Woodsen mantra, isn't it? No fault, no responsibility. Things just happen."

Serena is totally, completely shocked, because... What do you say to that? No fault, no responsibility. Things just happened. And yeah, this time -- like last year -- somebody shadowy from the past is trying to draw her back across the line, so it is a little more coincidental than she should ignore. Like even for Serena the timing should be ringing some kind of bell that somebody has it out for her. On the other hand: fuck that, because she wasn't doing anything except trying to be as nice as possible to a boy who never deserved it, over and over and over, and getting shit on just as hard when there were literally no problems at all as when the freaky occurrences were piling up. She's not in charge of the world or the people in it. That's Dan's job.

Here's a little story. About four months ago, give or take a week, two sisters were standing on a street corner in Brooklyn. They were closer than close, once, until one night when things broke. One of them locked herself up tight, and ignored the fever; the other one just let the fever burn. And Serena's little brother got hurt, in one of the worst ways you can be hurt at that age. And Serena accused the other girl of doing it on purpose, just to hurt their family. The other girl's name was Georgina Sparks. And she promised she would never hurt Eric.

"You know, you used to tell me that you were afraid that people couldn't see the real you. Well, maybe you're the one who can't see yourself. From where I'm standing, this is who you are."

That's how far down it goes, is what she meant. She was asking if Serena could believe there were things she wouldn't do, lines she wouldn't cross. Because she wasn't sure; she needed to know. She needed to know she could stitch herself back together. She just needed Serena to make her feel better.

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Gossip Girl




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