Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Cansei de Ser Stupid

Amanda's file, Nelly Yuki explains, is a bit "sketchy," since she's a sudden transfer. "Her father's with the UN, she's traveled the world, she won the short fiction award at her last school..." Serena tells B to drop the reconnaissance but B isn't hearing it: "S, this girl is Dan with boobs!" The Plastics giggle, sensing blood in the water. "Do you really want to see them read together all year?" HA! She tells Nelly Yuki to move Amanda to the front of the line, and S shakes her head. "Look, I appreciate it, but you're making way too big a deal out of this. So he was talking to someone. So what? It doesn't mean anything..." She swears she's fine, and leaves; Penelope notes that this is a lie and B hands the file over: "Call her a Person Of Interest."

Vanessa does coffee-type things at the Bedford, and spots Catherine entering in a lovely green cougar dress. "What a lovely little gallery," Catherine says, dripping with venom; Vanessa is at best unfriendly in response. "I know Nate paid you a visit this morning, and I just wanted to thank you. Show my appreciation for respecting our agreement?" V replies, holding her own, that Catherine's best option is to gratefully make like a tree and get the fuck out. Instead, Catherine hands her an envelope: "Open it and see..." V does, and sees a check for five thousand American; she looks up to bitch at Catherine about her total lack of morals or whatever, but Catherine has vanished into the mist like a vampire. Vanessa stares around, totally grossed out, and stupidly doesn't even consider spending the cash because she's from Brooklyn, home of superiority and causing trouble for normal people all the time.

S and Lonelyboy enter the courtyard from opposite sides and act awkward and ironic for about a million years. Dan admits that he was nervous about seeing her at school, and Serena likes that. Chuck slithers in (from the Constance side, because time + space + Gossip Girl) and watches them be weird for a bit before Dan finally asks if they (he) can drop all the weirdness and fast-forward to the part where they're friends. Which is fair, considering last week it was Serena who wanted to fast-forward past the weirdness to the part where they were boning. She invites him to have lunch, and he stammers a bit before Amanda appears and Serena is stricken.

Chuck's loving it, of course, but it makes me a little uncomfortable to see Serena van der Woodsen wrong-footed. She babbles -- and I mean literally, like babbles, like to the point where even that skimpy thread of logic that links up Dan's babbles isn't even implicit in the babbling -- and wanders away feeling and seeming awfully stupid. The awful girl stares at her and then turns to Dan; Serena leans her head against the doorpost near Chuck, groaning wordlessly. He points out the irony of Dan moving on first, and says they look "very sweet" together, and rubs it in about the lunch plans. Serena rolls her eyes and takes off; Chuck snaps their chatter for GG and instantly everybody gets a blast with the headline "SERENA WHO?" Blair snaps at a Plastic: "Class schedule. New girl. Now."

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Gossip Girl




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