Gossip Girl
The Fasting & The Furious

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
Exploitation Of Neighbors


Louis & Beatrice have a long, annoying French-fried conversation about whatever, this latest thing with the contract and the baby, everybody gets involved, Payne's staring and grinning like a lunatic, and of course Princess Sophie figures out in about five seconds that Beatrice was the one that included all the really weird things to once again torpedo this whole idea, and then just because of how dumb everything is, Sophie decided that although it was deceitful and crazy, Beatrice had the right idea because of how Blair reacted to her insane demands, so she decides that Blair actually has to sign the contract.

Louis: "This is that part in every episode where I throw off the burdens of aristocracy or something and act like I'm sacrificing something that's never made clear, and then later it all goes away again for other ill-defined reasons and the whole situation resets to basic default for the next episode, yes?"



Ivy, verbatim: "Even one of these would not only launch the website, but blow Diana's mind."
Nate: "And my ethics."

Anyway, it's this tissue-thin thing where Nate feels so bad for doing this pretty egregiously shitty thing, and then for no real reason kind of shrugs and goes along with it, and they talk about what assholes they are for doing it, but what can ya do

Nate, suddenly: "Actually, though, you're even worse than me because these people are your actual family."
Ivy: "...Oh, that's right! I totally forgot that part. Okay, let's just put a kibosh on this whole thing and go to Yom Kippur."
Nate: "That was even more useless than my usual storylines. Maybe Dylan Hunter was right and I really am just half of a gay youth."
Ivy: "Psych! I am totally bringing these leather dossiers full of ancient information back to Diana. But in the meantime, could you give me some condescending words of wisdom that are also totally hypocritical because you're in the exact same position as me?"
Nate: "Done."


Chuck: "Dr. Barnes, I can't believe I stalked you all the way to Temple so that I could bother you some more, and you won't even chill and hang with me for like one minute?"

Barnes: "You could've had fifty, but you wasted them. Knowing your reputation, I expected nothing less than an entirely inappropriate manipulation. Allow me to lay down some basics about your mental health science. You never had a childhood, and so you behave like a child in the worst ways. You pay for intimacy so you're always in control and no one can get close to you. Your superficial connections and lack of authentic emotion leave you isolated and alone. Not just tonight. Always. I wish you all the best, but you're gonna need more than that to live a happy and normal life."

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Gossip Girl




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