Gossip Girl
The Fasting & The Furious

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Exploitation Of Neighbors

Chuck: "She really gets me. Or at least the shallow cypher of a character I sometimes can be."

BETTINGER

Serena: "You would not believe the day I am having! Allow me to complain to you about my job for a second."
Dan: "What? I am totally angry at you! All I did was tell you that you could have the movie rights, and then renege on that agreement without warning. How could you do that to me?"
Serena: "I'm sorry, Dan. I'm sorry that your flaky double-crossing bullshit scared off Harvey Weinstein, and I'm willing to take the ethical fall for it for some reason. I'm sorry that I wasn't really a virgin the first time we did it. And I'm sorry that you wrote such a hateful book about me."
Dan: "It wasn't just about you, it was also about Daisy Buchanan, and Amy March, and like five different Gwyneth Paltrow roles. My lack of creativity is multivalent, it's one of the most amazing things about me is how thin I can spread my complete lack of originality. I'm a self-important hack. It doesn't mean anything, Serena!"

Serena: "It means that you are in love with Blair!"
Dan: "Oh. Well that part, yeah."

This bugs S for some reason, I guess we don't really need to know what it is, but I suppose it comes down to how, one in every five times, Dan is the love of Serena's life. And for what it is worth, he has never been eaten by wolves or sent to jail, so maybe she has a point. Maybe of all the loves of her life, he is sometimes the loviest. But he never really liked her that much -- he's seemed to mostly hate her guts for the entire time they've known each other, to be honest -- so I'm not sure where she got the idea that it was mutual.

SPECTATOR

Ivy: "Here are leather dossiers on all the main characters. The information in there is probably two or three years old at least, given that Lily and Rufus have been married for approximately one hundred billion years."
Payne: "Wait, who even are these people? Eric van der Woodsen? Jenny Humphrey? Pilot Inspektor? Russell Thorpe's Dead Wife? That One Boyfriend Of Eric's?"
Ivy: "I don't know, I'm new."

Nate: "Thank God we didn't risk our ethics or something. The hubris of technology."
Ivy: "Holy Christ, Nate, you've been talking about this literally since the one scene where you and Chuck were looking at naked man magazines together. Get a new topic."
Nate: "I'm just saying I'm glad we broke into that safe but then didn't take anything."
Ivy: "Got. It."

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Gossip Girl

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