Gossip Girl
The Fasting & The Furious

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Exploitation Of Neighbors

A huge, tiny grin.

Blair: "Don't be ridiculous, S. That book is pure fiction whether I'm the star or not."

SPECTATOR

Diana gives the useless dossiers back to Ivy, explaining how "news" works and what "news" is and how "new" things are more likely to be "news," and then there's some awkward stage business where she keeps back one folder, removes a photograph of herself as a young woman from it, calls Ivy back to give the folder -- Bart Bass's own dossier, you know, that he was keeping on himself -- to her, and then takes the picture that she just took out of the folder, stares at it for a while more, and then sets the photo on fire. So apparently Bart was investigating himself? And turned up a picture of her from ten years ago? And now she has this information, leading us to believe that she too is investigating herself? Maybe they were part of an amnesia cult. Maybe that's how they got their kicks back then.

OUTSIDE

Dan: "You're right, you're not the love of my life. Or maybe you are."
Serena: "I am so done with this conversation."
Dan: "Also, you are getting the rights to my movie after all."
Serena: "Oh, don't feel guilted into it just because you flaked on a promise and then came to by job to get me fired and treated me like shit yet again."
Dan: "I assure you that I don't feel bad about any of those things. Also, I want to write the screenplay myself. As a college sophomore, I feel that nobody will have a problem with that."
Serena: "Okay, Dan. Thanks for everything I guess."
Dan: "Serena? Serena, I'm going to have to let you go. My dad's calling. Probably to apologize to me for being offended by all the offensive things I wrote about him. Let's talk soon."

Chuck: "Dr. Barnes? I have had some random epiphany for the fifth episode in a row and I realized that you were right and I need therapy to stop raping people and all that."
Barnes: "I am sure this will end well."

Blair: "I'm sorry you had to choose between me and your mother. It's the last thing I wanted, and it was quite a surprise because of how it happens in every single episode. On another note, why are you rooting around in the drawer where I keep my paternity results?"
Louis: "[Something in French.]"

Gossip Girl: "What if Louis had a personality? And that personality was EVIL? Just kidding, neither of those things is actually true."

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