Gossip Girl
The Fasting & The Furious

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Exploitation Of Neighbors

SPECTATOR

Payne: "I am so excited about our website or whatever! Time to go live."
Gossip Girl: "Not so fast! Everybody, a certain website or something stole a bunch of phones at the Jenny Packham show, and is about to go live."
Payne: "I guess we aren't going live. With our newspaper or blog or whatever it is."

Diana Payne is still not familiar with how Gossip Girl knows everything that happens all the time, so she thinks there must be a rational reason that Gossip Girl would know to blow her spot right now, this very morning of Yom Kippur. And honestly, why would she be: Occam's Razor suggests that Gossip Girl's omniscience is just covering up for a complex system of moles and double agents, and so obviously Ivy, the most moly and the doublest agent of all time, is the probable leaker.

CHEZ WALDORF

Blair: "Mother will alter the dress to hide the baby bump, and Louis and I will fly back to be close to Dr. Crane for the third trimester. A honeymoon can wait!"
Parents: "We are overjoyed that you are so totally knocked up right now!"
Beatrice: "Um, did anybody notice that this is ludicrous?"
Sophie: "Beatrice, please. Go get your brother some crepes or French toast or something, and rub his princely feet."
Beatrice: "Or else Blair is going to take over this baby like she's taking over her own wedding, bringing down the monarchy and losing us all our heads, somehow."
Sophie: "In this episode I just do whatever people tell me, no matter how dumb it is."

BETTINGER BRUNCH

Serena: "Dan, thanks for meeting me for brunch. I just finished painfully sounding out your novel phoneme by phoneme, and I want to apologize for being so upset at your blatant character assassination that has already compromised my fledgling career."
Dan: "What's important is that you forgive me."
Serena: "Sure, whatever. I forgive you and I wish you a lot of happiness. Apparently with Blair. So anyway, listen, can I have the film rights to your book?"
Dan: "I will totally promise you that without talking to my agent. Since she's never really doing her job, I know she won't mind. We're going to play Hide & Seek later in Central Park, I'll tell her then."
Serena: "I'm so glad we're 'friends' again, after what 'I' did to 'you.'"

Dan: "Hey, Alessandra. What are you doing?"
Alessandra: "Watching a matinee and buying shoes and other stuff that's not my job."
Dan: "Listen, can my random friend have the movie rights to this bestselling novel? We both just graduated high school, so I'm fairly certain it will work out."
Alessandra: "Uh, no. I may not be a literary agent, but I am your literary agent."
Dan: "What I'm hearing is maybe."

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Gossip Girl

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