Serena: "Jane! Dan just verbally agreed to give us the film rights without discussing it with his agent. Did I do good?"
Payne: "And you had me believe crazy was just an act? I think you might be suicidal!"
Ivy: "Are you even talking to me? What are you talking about?"
Payne: "Gossip Girl's omniscience strains credibility, and so therefore I will destroy you."
ibid., verbatim: "Since you lie like most people breathe, your oath means very little."
(British people be talking like that all the time.)
Diana threatens to expose Ivy to somebody or something if she doesn't get juicy gossip or something, so she sends her to Yom Kippur, which as everybody knows is the most exciting and sexyfied holiday of the entire year. Nothing says scandal and heartbreak like Yom Kippur.
Nate: "Why are you and Charlie always yelling at each other?"
Payne: "Ladies and their secrets, Nate. Hey, can you get me into the Waldorf-Rose-Grimaldi Yom Kippur?"
Nate, verbatim: "I doubt it makes for riveting journalism."
Payne: "I am obsessed with Blair or some shit all of a sudden."
Nate: "I'll get you an invite, but I don't do Jewish stuff. That's actually what the Archibald family crest says in Latin, No Jewish Stuff."
Alessandra: "This interview is key because it's your first visual appearance in the media. You wanna make a strong impression."
Dan: "You really sound like an agent right now."
Alessandra: "These days, a book needs as much press as it can get, no matter how many glowing reviews there are. Public television is the last bastion of the intellectual. Other phrases."
Dan: "I tend to babble and you are freaking me out."
Alessandra: "I am being an agent right now, it's freaking me out too. This is the perfect platform to position your book as next year's Best Picture. Mention Harvey's interest. People in Hollywood are sheep. If someone they respect wants the book, they all will."
Dan: "I should probably tell Serena that I was lying when I promised her the movie rights, and that we're obviously giving them to Harvey."
Alessandra: "Don't bother. I am sure she'll telepathically understand based on no information. As a literary agent I prefer to let other people infer basic details rather than being clear with them about what I'm doing as my job."
Dan: "You are the worst at this."