Blair: "I'm having a barely recognizable spat with S over something I don't even know about, and have decided to leave New York City behind. Think of yourself as an aging ballet dancer, and me as Sarah Jessica Parker."
Louis: "I don't know about this. This seems like a dumb idea."
Sophie: "Hey, how are you guys doing?"
Blair: "I am resigning from America is how I'm doing! Call me a Belgravian national!"
Louis: "...So there's that, apparently."
Rufus & Lily: "[Super weird, super long, sort of half-mumbled, neurotic couple conversation about different kinds of Chinese food and let's get this kind and let's get that kind and whatever, like how parents are always so cute and weird and it kind of sounds like a person talking to himself, only there are two of them, doing it as a team. It's so romantic!]"
Ivy: "Rufus and Lily, get out of here and go to the Waldorf party."
Ivy, verbatim: "And maybe if you were to see a family in good working condition, it would remind you how important it is to fix yours."
Rufus: "You little shit, what a patronizing thing to say."
Lily: "Remember, she's mentally ill."
Eleanor, verbatim: "My God, you'd think the Jews had suffered enough. I don't know how Cyrus can stand all this fasting."
Payne: (Stands there like she has any reason to be there.)
Eleanor: "I'm Eleanor Waldorf, who the fuck are you?"
Ivy: "This is Diana Payne, she owns my ass."
Eleanor: "Right, you have that website or blog or something. Welcome to my home where you weren't invited. Please don't bother the royals."
Payne: "I am totally going to."
Beatrice: "Diana Payne, would you like some juicy goss? Blair just decided to move to Belgravia."
Eleanor: "Wait, what? Is this because of how she showed up at somebody's place of business to whine about the situations she has entirely created for herself, and then acted hurt when they were more interested in doing their job because they were at work?"
Beatrice: "Yeah. You didn't know?"
Eleanor, verbatim: "Please. Blair will do whatever she wants. Waldorf women are not afraid to break the rules. And besides, who is she hurting if she does? It's not like she's signing a legally binding contract."
Beatrice: "Like my mother, I literally just do whatever words people say in every scene. If you'd ended that sentence with 'blintz,' I would now be heading over for a blintz. Instead, I am about to draw up a legally binding contract about something."