"Well, I'm sorry about that. But to lie about leaving for college? I mean, between the show you put on for the paparazzi all summer, and the craziness at the polo party last week, and this? I don't know what's going on with you." Serena agrees, and apologizes for lying. "I just didn't want to upset my mom," she says, and Rufus fervently agrees. "Well, at least we agree about that. Which is why you can repack your things and go to Brown today. I'll have a car here within an hour, as long as you're in it there's no reason Lily ever has to know about this."
(If you're wondering, that's when it happens. Because that is the most Lily van der Woodsen thing Rufus has ever said, and if Lily were here to hear him say it, she'd hear CeCe's voice saying it, because it's also the most CeCe Rhodes thing he's ever said: "You will do as you're told. I have made the arrangements; I have thrown money at it. Your existence is an embarrassment, but it's one we can cover up.")
"Or what, you'll tell on me? Wow. I feel really emotionally supported in making this life-changing decision." I am totally on Serena's side -- big surprise -- but seriously. She came to this house expecting waffles from a soft man, and instead she got the Rhodes Treatment from a weak one. This is why she goes crazy, every time. Running from this is how Serena was conceived. This is how Eric was almost killed: "Your existence is an embarrassment, but it's one we can cover up. There's no reason anybody ever has to know."
Rufus engages, unwisely, and says it's not a decision she's making, but a mistake, and he's trying to help her not make it. "By threatening me," she points out, and leaves with an awesome parting shot -- "Do you know... You're more afraid of my mother than I am" -- after telling him to call Lily himself, and tell her she's not going to Brown. Mind now made up. "Thanks for the talk," she spits, now in full-on Bad Serena mode, and he shivers.
Carter strolls around the Shire being total hotness, and when his phone rings he's totally mean without prelude. "What do you want?" She tells him she wants to go out, because she is not at Brown, and will be withdrawing her admission in a sec, and she wants to celebrate. He thinks about it, very frowny, and then agrees. Which is effed, because she already has a Bad Serena plan in mind and he's just a cog in the machine. Which is in itself effed because this episode is one in which Serena has an evil scheme and plays it out, while Blair I think is just coming up with shit on the fly, the way S usually does.