Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
We Have Always Lived in the Palace

Serena giggles and the men stare at her, and she goes, "Is this a business meeting?" And then her plan kicks into action, as she explains they might be picking up on a vibe between Chuck and Carter, who don't like each other much: "...They share the same taste in women. Sometimes they share the actual women..." she stage-whispers, and Chuck's horrified, and Carter's feeling sort of uncomfortable too, and asks if this meeting is about trying to fill Bart's shoes, which is a cheap shot, and then Serena starts yelling about how he's only telling people it's a restaurant, and ends up looking right in his eyes, way less drunk than she's pretending to be: "What did you say, you wanted to 'redefine decadence'?"

"You wanted to ruin my deal, so you came here and brought Carter Baizen as your wingman." Carter now feels used, and gross, and Chuck bounces. "I told Rufus about Brown because I was actually concerned for you." She feels bad about that. He apologizes to the dudes for wasting their time, and now she's stuck with Carter, who is also giving her the stinkeye, and she sits and breathes and attempts to like feel good about herself.

Counting all the different ideas drifting away
Past and present, they don't matter
Now the future's sorted out
Watch, you're moving in elliptical pattern
Think, it's not what you say
What you say is way too complicated

That one Phoenix song that is just about everywhere, not that we're complaining yet, plays over the new scene at the party, in which two nerds are discussing BSG v. TNG, which if you don't know what that means, awesome.

It's twenty seconds 'til the last call

It's not a miracle we needed
And no, I wouldn't let you think so:
Falling, falling, falling, falling

(All you have to know is that TNG is a TV show where all the real-world parts of Maszlow's pyramid -- food, rent, shelter, money, air, etc. -- are taken care of, which frees the people to have adventures. So, pretty much exactly like Gossip Girl, only instead of great adventures like buying clothes and being mean to people and knowing what sex even is, it's about a lady with giant boobs, and a robot who thinks he's people. And every week, somebody who is not as nice as them shows up and causes ugliness and trouble, and the boob lady feels feelings and the robot man does not, and then a bald man or a beard man yells a lot, and there is science, and an explosion or an understanding, which is followed by tea. Occasionally a small nerd will do something stupid or turn into God, or his mother will go to Planet Scotland and masturbate on a ghost, but that's about it. Oh, and Whoopi Goldberg in a funny hat.)

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21Next

Gossip Girl




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP