And the petty decisions that you think make a difference
So tiny that they blow away like dust...
We are all embers from the same fire
Vanessa, who is rooming down the hall, overhears the screeching of B and the yippy/wacky sweetness of Georgina -- how great would it have been if they'd worked up to Blair screaming "Get out get out GET OUT!" -- and comes to gawk. Blair shoots her looks full of hate and also appeal as she takes in the whole story, and the whole meanwhile Georgie's acting all xanaxy about things and driving B even crazier. "So uh... That's awesome," Vanessa says, and bounces. It's the coolest thing she's ever done. Well done, sister-lady. Georgina pulls out some kind of godawful Klimty bullshitty freshman tapestry to hang up and Blair fucking bolts. Dorota's hustling her hot ass down the street in full costume -- "Should we call police?" is her first question, which is awesome -- but immediately hails a cab so she can get over to Masa and set up a catered event for Blair, who is having a silent conniption in a grimy dorm hallway.
Serena spreads her infinite giant purses all over Chuck's couch and gives him some ridiculous speech about how she can't go to college -- to Brown -- to find herself, because she thinks that college is... I can't figure out what she thinks happens at college. Maybe she thinks it's a sweatshop or something. "I don't know what I want to do yet, and... Going off to a new place to figure that out?" A NEW PLACE THAT IS CALLED COLLEGE?! "I don't know. I'm just... I'm not ready for that." Whatever, Boo. You don't want to do it, don't do it, because if you don't want to do it, you won't do it, because nobody in college gives a shit what you do, so suddenly you're responsible for your own behavior. And I mean, imagine how much damage S-Bomb could do with that information. "Look, sis. For people like us a college degree is just an accessory. Like a Malawi baby, or a poodle."
("What's improper about it? ...Everybody does it in Paris!" It was an irresistible and conclusive argument.)
Seriously at this point she starts taking giant purses out of her giant purses in order to create giant towers of giant purses. I don't know where they're coming from. All sides. They are coming from all sides. Serena explains that she just needs to hide out in what he queasily calls "the Basscave" until she plans her next move, none of this technically has to do with Carter Baizen, and not even Blair knows about this little life detour. This last, to be sure, is confirmed by the fact that she hasn't shown up to drag Serena to Providence by the hair.