Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
We Have Always Lived in the Palace

Nate has this horrible rash -- maybe from waxing, maybe from Bree Buckley -- and won't put his shirt on, preferring instead to roll over and over in a bed with Bree Buckley like a crocodile with its prey, and talk about God knows what, smoomy-noomy-hoo, and that little red-state cross dangling from her neck the whole time, and they better stay in this room and do it the whole week before classes start so they won't be in love or something, and he can watch his lame TV shows and she can sing Timberlake in the shower and they can just ))<>(( their scabies all over each other and whatever. "What do you say? You, me, this apartment? Let's get sick of each other." Done.

Chuck is talking to a sober man in a blue shirt and red Repp about the restaurant. Because any investor, when invited to discuss capital with a teenager, would clearly just drop by his penthouse in the early evening. The guy talks about how everybody knows Chuck is a dirty old birdy, and Chuck assures him that this is all above-board and he doesn't want "some raucous club coming in and disrupting the quiet" or "to bring that element to the area."

"That" element, of course, immediately busts all up in his area, when Serena comes running in, yelling Italian into her phone while calling out to the party people in the hall and drunk-whispering to Chuck and the man that she's broken her heel. Chuck's lawyer of course calls at this very moment, which is just long enough for Serena to drunkenly gape, "Isn't it so awesome how he wants to build a secret dungeon in this restaurant?" The guy's troubled, but of course Chuck doesn't help: He totally hisses SERENA at them in a way which makes it clear he's pulling some kind of stunt, and the dude bounces. Serena's scared, but so would I be if Chuck made that face at me. He hasn't been this angry since Nate started cheating on him with Dan.

Blair stands around her sushi/sake cocktail party in a gorgeous purple gown -- the floor's common room is, of course, decorated out to here -- but she's all alone. There's like one sort of terrifyingly desperate wannabe from before, a girl named Amalia, and when she introduces herself Blair just stares at her for like a whole minute waiting for her to vanish before remembering that this is a guest at her party, and then smiles. "I'm glad people understand the concept of being fashionably late, but this is ridiculous." Oh, but everybody's down the hall watching a movie or something. Blair stomps off after yelling at the girl to stop hogging the toro.

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Gossip Girl




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