Chuck: "So I am going to set Diana up with a newspaper in the UK that's looking to be revitalized, like how she has done to The Spectator in nine out of ten storylines."
Nate: "But what about when I expose her as a procuress?"
Chuck: "You won't. That's part of the deal."
Nate: "But what about justice!?"
Chuck: "Just let it go, babe. You wanted her out, I got her out."
Nate: "But Lola and I are working on a scheme!"
Chuck: "And I'm sure it was a good one. But this way actually has a chance of working, so..."
Serena: "B, everything is crazy here! Nate's yelling at Diana, Diana's posing all over the place! It's so mysterious, it's drivin' me nuts!"
Blair: "Well, I can't tell you what's going on yet, but please tell me Chuck's mood when Diana leaves. That way I'll know if I'm needed."
Serena: "Okay, I guess. Hey, what was Humphrey's big news?"
Blair: "He wants me to go to Rome all summer. He doesn't want to breathe or live without me."
Serena: "Yeah, that sounds... terrible..."
Blair: "Yeah, but I spent last summer as Louis's sidekick. I just kinda..."
Serena: "A summer in Rome? That's my dream scenario! Henry James wrote a whole novel about it! Cybill Shepherd played me in the movie!"
Blair: "Yeah, but like it's going to be full of tourists."
Serena: "So? I am a tourist of everything. That's like my main thing you're jealous of. Are you sure this isn't about Chuck?"
Blair: "It's like the more sane I get, the less you fuckers want to hear it. No, it's not about Chuck!"
Serena: "But you have secrets with him, though. I do hate being out of the loop. It makes me feel irrelevant. And you know how Momma gets when that happens."
Blair: "It is a limited amount of time we have to keep this secret, I promise."
Serena: "If I had even the slightest concept of time, lots of things would be different."
Lola: "Ugh, I see Diana's here. Is she going to take the offer?"
Nate: "Yes! And she's not being humiliated or anything!"
Lola: "Well, as long as there aren't other storylines we don't know about making that a necessity, I guess we can scheme against her some more."
Nate: "No, I have the sense that Chuck needs this to go down."
Lola: "Fine, but it wouldn't technically be breaking the agreement if it were me that fucked over this woman who hasn't ever really done anything wrong to either of us."
Nate: "You're right, Vanessa! Technically that wouldn't make me a bad person. And like, you already suck, so this pointlessly vengeful act doesn't really count against you either."
Lola: "Hey, being an expendable plot device has its advantages. And you know Rhodes Women are born soulless. Don't give it a second thought."
Nate: "I didn't give it a first one, to be honest. I'm still kind of stuck on that word justice. Isn't it weird? Justice. Justice. Justisssss. So weird!"