SHIT GETS REAL
Lola: "Hey, I brought Ivy. Because of that conceit on this show where we look alike."
Ivy: "Hey guys. I just came because I am desperation personified."
Blair: "Cool. We still hate you, though."
Ivy: "Ain't gonna screw my pluck, no sirree! I like to pretend we're all friends!"
Serena: "No, I'll do it. We're actually related, so the twin thing would make some kind of sense. And Jesus knows I still despise Ivy for no reason. And besides, Blair, you need to get back to that 'thing' I don't want to mention in front of Chuck."
Blair: "The Rome thing? Ugh, but this is actually fun. Oh, you know what? Ivy, you can stay. Serena, I need you for a separate acting job. Trust me, you know the part quite well."
Italian Alumnus: "I too have been fooled into thinking you have talent."
Dan: "My uncontrollable awkwardness is making me tell you this whole story about how Blair went out to buy gelato and has not returned yet."
Dorota: "I also will be mugging and doing jazz hands to make everything weirder."
Italian Alumnus: "Americans make me tired. Also Dorotas."
Serena, sans gelato but wearing a headband (!): "Honey, sorry I'm so late! xo! Hello, I'm Blair Waldorf..."
Dan & Dorota: "Okay, we can work with that."
Gossip Girl: "Looks like S is BSing as B!"
Italian Alumnus: "Credit where it's due? That was a pretty good one, Extradiagetic Gossip Girl. In any case, where is my gelato?"
Well, that's marvelous. Also, potentially very sad. Also, I do not see this deviating from the "Serena loses her goddamn mind" vector at all. But yeah, this is good. Good stuff.
Cuddly Serena: "I wasn't hugely into Dan at first -- he's from Brooklyn -- and just couldn't stand him. For years! But now we are madly in love!"
Dan: "Not madly. Sedately. Intellectually. After the literary fashion."
Serena: "It's like a movie! We're like Brad and Angelina. After they got rid of lonely, miserable old Jennifer Aniston, I mean."
Dan: "There wasn't so much a Jennifer Aniston in this scenario..."
Serena: "The fuck there wasn't, my darling."