Dan: "I told her I loved her."
Serena: "Tell me more! Let's talk about this for a long, long time!"
Dan: "She didn't tell me it back. I've been tightening the thumbscrews ever since."
I am ashamed to say that I don't remember that happening. Probably it has to do with his hair. I was probably staring at the hair, and totally missed this particular cliché happening onscreen. How crazy is that? When did this happen?
Serena: "Do you not remember the horror of her and Chuck dicking around about that word? And then she went the other way and committed to Louis too soon? What do you think all that gaywad 'I've given my heart to someone' stuff means? She says that crap constantly."
Dan: "I just need her to say exactly the words I want her to say, at the precise moment I want her to say them, and without telling her what I'm thinking."
Serena: "You are your own antidote, my friend. I could not be happier for you two right now. In any case, this is a particularly important thing going on. Like, life or death. So don't pull the Chuck card yet, or you will make it come true."
Dan: "You fucking Upper East Siders with your hyperbole."
Serena: "I know you mean 'women,' but whatever. This is literal. Bart Bass is alive."
Serena: "Yeah. I officially have two of the worst stepfathers ever created."
Charlies: "Where's Chuck?"
Tyler: "I guess they're not here. I guess we should just hang out until we get killed."
Somebody's coming up the stairs and for a second I thought it was Mason Nevins, but it turns out to be Blair and Chuck, with those two heavies in tow, as well as Bart. Long story short, it was Andrew Tyler that helped set up Bart's accident; not because he is Mason Nevins, but just because he was gathering intel for Bart and Nevins figured it out, and threatened his family to turn him. Tyler explains all of this, and then Lily's cops jump out from behind the couch and drag him away.
Chuck: "So the cops know you're alive, huh? You're officially not dead?"
Bart: "Here is your first hug of your whole life."
Secretary: "Hey, is Diana around? The Times lady is here..."
Nate: "Aw, they just missed her. Not sure what that's about, but probably not because she is a traveling bard of hookers."