You're a good man, Nathaniel Archibald. You screw around and waste incredible amounts of everybody's time, and something dire is going on with your face, but other than that, I find you to be tops.
VAN DER WALDORF
Serena: "Man, this tea is good. Because it is straight liquor."
Blair: "Hey, just sitting around drinking I see."
Serena: "Yeah, until one of you bastards takes that away from me too."
Blair: "Anyway, sitrep. Bart Bass is officially alive, so that'll be weird."
Serena: "I guess I should ask if Ivy and Lola are okay."
Blair: "They did a great job, you'd be proud. If you didn't hate them both."
Serena: "Yeah, they'll live."
Blair: "Oh, and I guess you got me into the Rome program. So I hope they like my version of myself as much as they liked yours."
Serena: "I also volunteered you to teach English."
Blair: "That's fine. I love you, Serena."
Serena: "I love you too, Blair."
Whew. Thanks. Cheers for that.
Serena: "Speaking of which, though, how about that Dan, huh?"
Blair: "Ugh. I'm not ready. I want the next time I say that to be the last time. We are something like twenty, after all, so it's understandable that I would think that."
Serena: "Are we? Time flies when you're me."
Chuck: "Are you coming home? Is it going to be like when the Captain would pay Xbox with us in his underwear all day and smoke pot?"
Bart: "With Tyler's confession I'll be able to show my pork cracklins serial killer face again."
Chuck: "Why would you want that?"
Bart: "I gotta say, I'm proud of how you took control and fixed my whole problem in like four hours. You've bested me on the field of manhood and earned my approval."
Chuck: "It's possible I'll never rape anybody again, now that you've said that. I'm a simple soul. Hey, what about your bigamist wife?"
Bart: "When I fake-died, a lot of shit was going on."
Chuck: "Maybe instead of fake dying, we could try therapy next time?"
Bart: "We are new money, after all."
Lola: "So hey, where did Diana go? Out the window, or what?"
Nate: "No idea. But now we can just chill and kick rocks or whatever."
Diana text: "Thx again, love."