Blair: "No, you were about to tell me something else. And don't bother lying, come on."
Serena: "Okay, well, I have been Gossip Girl for the past couple months."
Blair: "No wonder she was being so nice to me. And so generally inept. How did this occur?"
Serena: "Well, Georgina gave me this lapt..."
Blair: "-- Gotcha."
Serena: "Anyway, I really wanted to tell you, but it seemed important for plot purposes that I keep it a huge secret."
Blair: "I am mad at you. Not because you kept a secret -- I don't really care that much about other people's lives -- but I am mad because I could have helped you! Then it wouldn't have sucked so much, and I would have had power over mortals, and we could have been here in your witch-cave going Grey Gardens crazy together, which is clearly going to happen eventually anyway."
Serena: "...Huh. That went well. Let's go shopping? I guess?"
Blair: "Not really! But nice talk."
BART BASS HIDEOUT & EXPOSITION HIDEAWAY
Bart: "So anyway, Diana's other personality as a traveling sex gypsy meant she could move me around the globe at a moment's notice, going from safehouse to safehouse and sex party to sexy party. Until your own, unrelated car accident, when she smuggled me back into the country to donate blood to you."
Chuck: "Thanks for that, by the way."
Bart: "No problem."
Chuck: "I have... A lot of questions. Big ones, like my genetics or who my parents are at this point, but also small ones, like, why is your face like that? It's like you've been doing pushups. With your face."
Bart: "This one expression I'm always making is pretty much like doing pushups with my face. But the rest of it, you'll never know the answer. Because my mysterious enemy -- or one of my mysterious enemies, I should say, since this is the exact same Thorpe storyline from last year -- could still come after you. Or more importantly me."
Thugs in tuxes arrive, of course, to take Chuck away. He does not go gently, because I don't know if you know this but Chuck has some abandonment stuff. Mostly it's due to his mother dying and his father hating him and then dying and then his molester uncle kept coming back to ruin his life in creative ways and abandon him and then his mother came back to life and fucked up his life in other ways and then she wasn't his mother and then she went to Tibet and abandoned him then his other mother fucked his best friend and then his other father was his uncle and then his first mother went back to being his mother and then his first father came back from the dead and then abandoned him. Also because of Blair probably.