Dan: "So? Is this the part where you disappoint me and I go full-on hipster pussy right in front of you?"
Blair: "...I guess we're going to Rome."
Dan: "That's exciting! I love getting what I want. I'll just arrange everything."
Blair: "Yeah, you do that."
Diana: "His name is -- get this -- Mason Nevins. He went to Hogwarts with your father, but then turned to the Mob so now he's a Mobster. He likes to fuck twins, also. Which is relevant because I am his whoremaster, so I can tell you when he's going to be meeting my hos, in secret, and you can blackmail him."
Chuck: "I guess you work with what you're working with."
Diana: "Hang on, I have somebody calling from the New York Times. Probably about my op-ed in the Spectator about how A.O. Scott is the worst fucking human alive."
NOLA: Lurking in Nate's bedroom, smug as fucking bugs in a rug.
Diana: "Marlene! Darling! Is this about A. O.? Because it's a fact, not an opini... Oh, you don't say. That's a weird thing to accuse me of, running an international traveling whorehouse, considering I'm just three years of age. Hang on?"
She snatches the ho appointment info out of poor Chuck's little hands and tells him he'll never use her ladies in his schemes again. Her feelings seem really hurt! Also her chances for building a legitimate life during this all-important toddler period of her new life.
Chuck: "What's up, dicks?"
NOLA: "Ummmm. Uhhhhh."
Chuck: "No, for real. What the hell?"
Serena: "Seriously, I really feel left out."
Nate: "She had to suffer consequences!"
Serena: "You guys, somebody better tell me what's going on."
Lola: "Sorry about your little 'business deal,' but this was personal."
Chuck: "I'll say. She's been protecting my father. She was helping me save his life."
Serena: "You mean Jack?"
Chuck: "I mean Bart. He faked his death, it's this whole thing."
Nate: "Oh, dude. My bad."
Serena: "Wait, Bart's alive? Nobody ever tells me goddamn anything!"
Blair: (Acting insane about the interviewer for the Rome program, but in a recognizably Blair way. Abusing Dorota, screaming about bone china, the usual.)
Dan: "See, I think it's just a formality to make sure neither of us are crazy?"