Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1572 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Fated To Pretend

Chuck stiffly welcomes Carter Baizen into the house of Prada, where he expresses surprise that Chuck has "waved the white flag so soon." He downs an expensive drink proffered by the presumptive loser of the battle, and Chuck confirms that Carter's liaison with Miss Waldorf was only ever an attempt to get at Chuck. "Goes down almost as easy as you did," Carter says, but of their former and possibly ongoing associations we shall not speak, deeming it as unseemly as it is intriguing.

And though it was only a step in a game between these two louche rakes, Carter admits that Miss Waldorf was a surprising companion. "That girl certainly knows how to let loose. Victory never tasted so sweet," he says, taking much pleasure in this multi-leveled statement's bilious affects. Carter raises the bottle from which he was served, asking Chuck's pardon to take it away with him. "Blair's meeting me at a party, and it's not the kind of place she should be left alone," he explains, just as Serena makes her entrance, whisking it from his hands again. "Actually, I don't think you're gonna be making that," she says, and Carter employs a certain sort of low-level wordplay ("What's this? Good Cop/Bass Cop?") to cover his surprise. "Blair needs to regroup, so you need to bid adieu."

Serena presents Carter with a cardstock airplane ticket to Dubai, which causes him to laugh. "Nice try, but I'm having too much fun. Nothing's gonna get me to leave town." Serena, whose hair is still as glorious and unfettered as the goddess below it, mentions their sojourn in Santorini, mentioned once before long ago. (All we remember is that Carter woke up alone.) He grits his teeth as Serena asks him how Miss Waldorf will react to that secret story. "The Greek guy, Spiros? The Greek police?" She holds up her phone, which contains contact information for those selfsame police officers. "You wouldn't," Carter blurts, and she swears she would. "But I won't if you leave town now. Alone."

Carter offers that he has plenty to hold over her head from that vacation as well, but as Chuck stares on he considers her offer and accepts. Over his shoulder, he gives one last parting bit of advice: "If the two of you think that getting rid of me is going to magically change back your friend, think again. I'm just a symptom of the disease, not the cause." And though Chuck does attempt to learn more about this mysterious exchange, Serena ignores his questions and sets off once again to find Miss Waldorf, who at this precise moment is nearing a strange townhouse and ringing the bell. "Enter at your own risk," Gossip Girl warns, as Miss Waldorf draws herself up sharply at the door. She is frightened, and a little ashamed. Unsure of what she'll be asked to do, or how she'll be degraded, but knowing that this downward spiral cannot continue, she stares into the house as the door opens, offering only a quiet hello to the denizens within.

Gossip Girl

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