"...And C is coming to B, sheepishly bearing gifts," that mysterious lady gloats (or goats) as Chuck makes his ingress Chez Waldorf. "I would have been here sooner," he says, eyes alight and brandishing a small present, "I stopped to pick up a little something." Blair Waldorf lounges indolently and indecently in her altogether, with a studied air of disinterest and boredom. "How thoughtful," she says, placing it beside herself on the sofa without a look. "Serena thinks you're in some kind of trouble." Miss Waldorf sips her drink, as he continues: "Seems to me your only problem is having a party all by your lonesome."

The rogue Carter Baizen appears, rolling up the sleeves of a shirt still unbuttoned, and kisses Miss Waldorf with a drink in his hand, to Chuck's unease, pointing out that she is anything but alone. "What are you doing with this insect?" Chuck asks, and her eyelids dip in telegraphed dissolution. "Having the time of my life, thank you very much." Carter's hand curves against her shoulder, and she strokes it easily. "Well, as much as I enjoy bursting your bubble, he's just using you to get at me." She affords Chuck a withering look in response. "Ask him about his role as a kidnapper for a certain secret gentleman's club," Chuck suggests. "I should know, I had him expelled." Carter sighs and points out that his involvement with Nanny Elle amounted to the simple act of conveying her to "a waiting pile of cash," which it is common knowledge she accepted before leaving the city without Chuck in tow. Chuck tries again to warn her off, but she robs him of his words.

"What," Blair spits. "Dishonest? Bad news? He can't be any worse than you," she says, and Chuck solemnly promises he's only trying to help. "Help me? Is that what you were doing at your little 'gentleman's club,' while my life was going up in flames? I'd rather take Carter's help." She smiles meanly, and cutely, with Carter's hand at her sumptuous throat. Chuck makes his egress as Carter kisses her once again, as a prelude no doubt to more scandalous activity, and Gossip Girl rings the clarion call once again. "We hear Carter Baizen's dealt Chuck another losing hand. But rest assured, Upper East Siders, Chuck always has a card up his sleeve..."

William leads the motley crew of fellows through the halls of the estate, pointing to first one and then another of the busts, paintings and other monuments to the van der Bilts' storied history of distinguished public service. Nathaniel knows the story by heart, relating to his bosom companions the tale of Johannes van der Bilt's arrival in the Americas 250 years ago, and his discovery of a rich coal vein in Pennsylvania. William smiles grandly: "You can understand why we're proud to be celebrating our family's anniversary this weekend: We started with almost nothing." Dan identifies with this, but cannot possibly understand the riches that generations of hard work have brought the family in the interim. We leave this world as we arrive in it, one supposes.