Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Fated To Pretend

Vanessa calls back to the halcyon days of earlier this week when he was cut off from his entire family and his only responsibility was to accompany her to whatever stupid country she wanted, and honestly seems to be confused about what's changed. He points out that it's an awesome opportunity, and she points out that the opportunity is for him to turn into Trip, which is bleak. He tries to explain that he still has no idea who he wants to be in five years, which is why he has to consider these things, and she Goes There.

"If this is something I honestly thought you wanted, I'd be happy for you." Which: you lose. How dare you say that anybody, ever? What a shitty thing to pull. She softens the blow by asking him if it's even possible that this isn't just about what William wants, to which he firmly and correctly responds, "As opposed to what you want me to do?" Vanessa gets sad, even though he's precisely right, and he apologizes, almost crying. "It's just... My grandfather believes in me." He walks away, and they both feel crappy.

Blair shoves physically into a conversation between two couples, drunkenly shouting, "So! What are we talking about?" They welcome her politely, and ask if Eleanor's around; she agrees that Eleanor should be here for the shit she's pulling, and one of the women burbles that Eleanor needs to call her, so she can commission a wedding gown. Crazy-faced Blair responds, "Oh, sure! Though I think she discontinued her third-trip-down-the-aisle, only-took-the-plunge-for-money line..." The other woman laughs nervously that Blair's clearly had a bit too much to drink, and B turns on her. "Oh, you would know! Three DUIs now, is it? Not that I blame you..." She turns to the husband: "Her way to escape the whispers that you made your money in adult entertainment websites." Chuck grabs her and hauls her out of there, but not before stressing what a big fan he is of the man's porn.

"You about done?" Chuck asks when they're alone, and she squares off proudly: "No!" He asks what she's doing, even though he knows, because he did the same thing after Bart. "Trying to destroy the old you, burn every bridge?" She grins. "It won't help. Believe me, I've tried." Awesomely, B stomps away, laughing that she should just climb on the roof to make it more dramatic, and he stops her. "This isn't you," he says, protesting that he knows her better than himself. "Oh, right," she says, slowing down and staring him in the eye like a snake. "You can see right through me." She leans in, not exactly lying and not exactly telling the truth, wielding it like a knife: "Can't you, Chuck? Right to my core." Which is why he has to go down, right now. She shoves him against the wall.

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Gossip Girl




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