Some due in a bowler hat gives Brandeis a laminate for some reason, I didn't really understand that exchange, and then B comes running up to make her S replacement permanent, sort of hysterically begging Brandy to laugh with her about the false accusations, and Brandeis is like, "Actually, I'm totally a hooker." Blair is grossed out, but Brandy explains that she's really a Psych major at NYU and that everything she said was true, except she left out the escorting. B shrugs and thinks and decides maybe they can still be friends, which is a downgrade as far as she's concerned, but at least a Band-Aid on the gaping hole Serena left on her way out. Which Brandy likes, but can they table this because she has to go have sex for money. What's PR Rule #1? Blair realizes Brandeis went on the date with her not because they are new just-add-water BFFs, but because she was looking to drum up business. And now, feeling like Serena for a moment, Blair writes Brandeis off too.

Meanwhile, the conversations with Chuck and Blair ringing in her ears, Serena tries to get ~♥~RPATTZ~♥~ into a cab. For what reason, I do not know, since I was pretty sure he was staying at the Empire and thus only needed to take a cab upstairs, but whatever, so he says he wants to go out and party, and she has to go with him because she's his fake girlfriend and he can't be seen without her. He gets all up in her situation as he says this, and S feels herself on the trembling edge of whoredom and Sharpies a farewell on a cocktail napkin -- as one does, in a grownup job -- giving KC her notice, before stuffing it in the breast pocket of ~♥~RPATTZ~♥~ and sending him to KC's house.