"Listen, as much as I enjoy my current girlfriend talking to my ex-girlfriend about her fake boyfriend who is also my current girlfriend's ex..." (Translation: Stop talking about things that are not me or relevant to my interests!) "...Uh, you could probably get us a copy of that Fallon interview, right?" I love how open Dan is about resenting Serena's life beyond the square inch he occupies. Even after all these years. Serena dashes because, as Olivia points out, you never know when FedEx will deliver more scripts to an unrealistic and one-note character like ~♥~RPATTZ~♥~.

In the hallway, Blair and Serena are wearing opposite colors. Blair immediately goes on the defensive offense, telling S she's not getting an apology. S is not feeling her bullshit right now, and says she's not there for Blair, but Olivia. "Oh, that's right. I momentarily forgot your job is more important than your friends." Serena takes a breath and offers to get coffee, but Blair is like, "You mean 'get apologies'! From me!" Serena says she's willing to let the way B used her Social Worth against her last week slide, and Blair says she didn't do shit, and S says for the third time in this short conversation that she wants to let it drop and consider them even. She begs B, with her eyes, and Blair considers it, but she's got that crazy light in her eyes that says she's not going to stop until she drives this shit into a brick wall. It's only smoke.

"I actually have to go meet Chuck right now," B says nastily, and Serena rolls her eyes, because whatever bitch, I'm busy, and B keeps going: "We've been going nonstop, prepping for Tripp van der Bilt's election party tonight. Speaking of which, I noticed you're not on the guest list. That can only mean one thing: Nate still hates you for whatever it is you did to him!" Grownup Club, part two. Serena clicks into Okay Let's Play mode and tells her that A) Blair has bad information and probably bad sources, B) she's going to the party tonight, C) with her movie star boyfriend while D) Blair's boyfriend is working the party, so E) who is Blair going with, because she F) has no friends, just "knock-off" versions of herself. Blair is like whoa. "Since you're so interested, I have made real friends here! I just don't share your need to brag!"