When Dan comes back to the Scrabble game having seen the DAMAGING FOOTAGE, he bounces like immediately, and then everybody talks about how OOC it is for him to leave in the middle of a Scrabble game, because without being insufferable who is he. Olivia and Little J figure out that he found the DAMAGING FOOTAGE on her computer, and they run around like lunatics, and Rufus is like, "Scrabble is for words!" and Lily is like, "You are so gullible to think our kids would actually hang out with us!" and Rufus is like, "Where am I?" and then she gives him a doggie treat in his special platinum doggie bowl and scratches his tummy and he goes to sleep on the floor with his bangs in his eyes and he looks just like an angel. Good boy. Good boy, Rufus!
When Serena's lying her hands go to her hair, like for example when B comes to tell her about his drunkenness and rub it in a bit more, and S is pretending he's like just around the corner and B lets her twist until finally she's like, "Your fake boyfriend is a huge drunk just like you, and I had him thrown out." Which is three things, two of them intended to wound and one of which needed to be done, but because B buried the lede, it sounds like she did this just to be a dick. "He's drunker than Paula Abdul during Hollywood Week," B explains, and even though Serena knows that's probably true, she pulls a Nate on herself and says this is just because Blair is super jealous. Dumb. So then Blair just wades in throwing as many punches as she can, and getting some good ones in regarding the historical Bad Serena, before drawing the lines in the meanest, truest way possible: "This is Nate's big night, at Chuck's hotel. So sorry, S: I did what I had to do. Again."
Jenny and Olivia watch the DAMAGING FOOTAGE, and it's stupid and gross and Jimmy Fallon can't help being what he is so it's just mean to make fun of him for it, but Jesus God is it hard to watch. I mean, he's very good at being Jimmy Fallon, but I would kill myself first so it's sort of a null sum. Olivia leaves a voicemail and Jenny tries and fails to pretend to give a shit about any of this whatsoever.
Serena finds ~♥~RPATTZ~♥~ asleep on his bed with his shoes still on and throws water in his face, and he suddenly becomes charming and tells S, wrongly, his theory that Blair had him thrown out not because he's drunk and gross, but because he was talking to her hooker friend. Serena jumps out from behind the door frame to stare at him right when the "Two Left Feet" song kicks in like oh girl, and he's being all wet and cute on the bed, and Serena looks like she just saw God... But listen to the song: