Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Truth Even Unto Its Innermost Parts

So then Vanessa's sweater explains to Nate's scabies in a very portentous and slow fashion all about the person to whom she's selling her footage, including the woman's name, address, social security number, likes and dislikes, favorite sound, and what she hopes God says at the pearly gates, and then scampers so Nate can compromise himself one more time by calling this woman Caroline Lowe in order to quash the footage in some needlessly complicated fashion that involves hiring an actress to meet up with Vanessa and buy the footage -- which is digital, I mean, it's not like she's handing over the negatives or anything -- instead of just tossing Vanessa in the river or stealing her camera for a couple of hours, but whatever, because he knows all of this and yet persists because he's like a double-triple agent on himself right now, it's so confusing. Nate is like a Philip K. Dick story about Nate trying to locate Nate whilst wearing a Nate suit.

So's Serena, though. That is her definition. She's listening boredly to some old senator explain some bullshit to her -- "Wow. Thank you so much for explaining that," she dead-eyes -- when ~♥~RPATTZ~♥~ comes walking up and she goes, "Hey, we were just discussing the senate committee on Appropriations! Maybe you'd like to join us." Is this one of those GG things where instead of S acting smart or doing normal shit that any normal person would do in any circumstance, they just throw dialogue at the problem? (Remember when Kati and Iz were like MacArthur Fellows?) I prefer to believe that she was dying inside. There are pix taken and then S sends the senator away so she can administer positive reinforcement to ~♥~RPATTZ~♥~ ("Isn't this great? You've got the perfect Capitol Hill vibe!") but, just like her S magic is no longer working on Blair, ~♥~RPATTZ~♥~ is bored. He sighs that he has to "hit the can," and S sighs nearly in defeat.

Brandeis runs off to say hi to some senator she knows, which makes Blair's eyes go all starry, and then when Serena arrives, she gets to gloat. "Do you see that gorgeous blonde in Proenza Schouler talking to those high-profile politicians? That's my best friend Brandeis! She knows most of them personally." Serena is wearing this fucked up pony braid -- overthought, messy and... rustic, like imagine if Nigella Lawson did your hair -- that I thought was gross and postmodern at first, but grew to love. Serena sort of laughs at Blair for making friends based on political connections (what's PR Rule #1?), but I mean, that's B. And this also is B:

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17Next

Gossip Girl




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP