Gossip Girl
The Handmaiden's Tale

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | 1 USERS: A+
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V For Vendetta

Dan calls Vanessa, and is worryingly unconcerned that this person is sitting around his house with nobody else home. I mean, I get that they have this deep relationship and whatever, but they are operating within Blair/Serena levels of weirdness today -- which I remind you is the day she came back without calling or anything, just breaking in and eating all the food in the house and sitting there being chipper -- so, like, take just a moment, okay? Maybe this is all on purpose and we're supposed to just realize that she's trying too hard and pushing too hard in every way, but I don't honestly think that's how the show feels about this. Which makes her more of a plot device than she really deserves. Anyway, Dan's got tux in hand and she shoved herself into his life without asking for the second time today, so now he has to tell a bunch more lies. This time it's that he's writing an American History paper and feels terrible about it -- but meanwhile she's spotted Jenny, still sad about missing out on the Ball, and goes off to bother her instead. Which, I'm sure at the end of the episode it will be like, "Seth Cohen, you must be less selfish in life," except...all of this, both times he lied in this episode, are Vanessa's fault, because she is a rude girl.

There is a belly-dancer going wild and crazy as Rufus and Lily disembark from the elevator and into the House of Waldorf. Lily explains the nature of this "favor" she's doing Rufus as his coming out: "When was the last time you had access to the top people in music and art? Introduce yourself! Revitalize your flagging career! Put that sad little gallery on the cultural radar!" He asks since when she was the "patron saint of former rock stars," and of course she points out he was never really a star, then twists the knife in a surprisingly new direction: "Really. Alison would have a fit if she knew you were accompanying me to this party, even if it was for your benefit." He gets very frowny-face about Alison, and Lily guides him to Eleanor for some air-kisses and some fairly awesome horndog faces from Eleanor, who seems to realize how hot Rufus is in ten-second intervals for the rest of the episode, in addition to giggling and generally acting like a Banger Sister on her best behavior. Bart and Caridee show up, and Rufus figures out about Lily's affair with him, and his own use as cougar-bait to make Bart jealous, and then everybody stares at everybody else and feels weird, but also like they have no idea who they'll end up in bed with. This really is just like Tangiers.

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Gossip Girl

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