Rufus decides in the elevator to go down to the floor of that embittered housewife with the funny name that I like so much. She just smirks at him when he knocks on the door, because I guess it's at that moment that she realizes he's just as dumb as he appears to be, and honestly didn't know -- like you did, like I did, like she did -- exactly where this was headed. But on the other hand, it's Rufus: He's not actually going to do anything. So it's a wash. I'm just glad he grew a spine, even though it was only for the single millisecond it took him to press a button in the elevator, so nobody could even see him do it, even though it's the wrong call on every level and only does more to take away from his treasured victim status in this situation.
S and N are finally done fucking in the coat check, so they awkwardly dialogue about how he can't find her jacket, so she has to steal another jacket even though she's wearing a dress and is fully dressed, but she's been acting all night like she needed a jacket so maybe she's just feeling modest tonight. Psych! So they run all frisky out into the crowd with their clothes like not even buttoned up, all scandalous and adorable and après-sex classy, and Violette leaves in the drug-shrug, and Damien offers to take Jenny home, which finally gives her the option of telling him to ask her underage ass out on a date already. And you know, I think he just might.
While the show, for the eightieth time, screams at us about how Nate and Serena are the new Brangelina and we've all been waiting for this moment since we were little baby children and that feeling you're feeling is the feeling of something perfect and inevitable finally clicking into place, et cetera, Blair and Chuck have a little more of their meeting about feelings, the upshot of which is when she tells him that whether or not that lady is his mother, Blair will always be his family. She kisses his cheek and touches his beautiful face and leaves him to stare at the locket like it's his precious based on the novel by Smeagol and the music, no shit, is going, "My soul is a dark place/ My soul is a lonely one/ But I'm not alone." Like, for real. If you're wondering when exactly it was that Caprica officially ousted GG as the best show on TV? This kind of shit is why. We can do better.
But anyway, so then Chuck barely misses a blocked-number call from Elizabeth at the Algonquin! Who is holding the other half of the locket! In which is contained -- predictably enough -- a picture of Aileen Quinn, safe in the arms of a poor but good-hearted couple played by Bernadette Peters and Tim Curry, with that curly ginger hair just starting to come in. XOXO.