Gossip Girl
Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1168 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Charlie The Unicorn

"Not enough time in the world to deal with that sentence, but then that's how straight privilege works: Only and ever throwing around words like that in the context of itself." -- A "witty" "gay" who hates both of those labels, adjective and noun, with an equal seething.

Blair: "Speaking of you, why are you hear?"
Ivy: "No idea. I feel a little like Alice in Wonderland."
Blair: "Well, Manhattan will do that to a girl. You'll be happy to know it never wears off."
Ivy: "But seriously, this is my last UES thing. Carol wants me gone."
Blair: "Aren't you a grown-ass adult?"
Ivy: "Not to mention, not actually her daughter. I'm afraid she'll blackmail me, not Rhodes Woman me."
Blair: "My mother drove me to bulimia. As a mother, I am fucking things up right and left. Your mother seems to be a lunatic, and I believe in attacking Rhodes Women on principle alone. Grow up and blackmail her ass right back."
Ivy: "You're a lot cooler to people you hate than the people you love. I miss Jenny."
Blair: "Me too. Now get out there and model, bitch! Love you! Hope you fail! You look dazzling! Enjoy the Ostroff Center! Hope you succeed! You deserve nothing!"

Lady, verbatim: "Blair, you'll be escorted by Simon Doonan."
Blair: "Uh, fairly sure I said 'witty gay,' not 'bitter leprechaun wannabe.' Why not just throw fucking Michael Kors at me and he can make the same joke at my expense eleven times without regard to whether it applies or makes basic sense?"
Lady: "He's already escorting Hadley Nagel."
Blair: "Yeesh."

SPECTATOR ATTACK

Nate: "Fellows! Let us talk of restaurants."
Congressman & Congresswife: "Restaurants! They are for food."
Nate, relaxing as though born to it: "I am a journalist."
Payne, filming with her phone: "I too am a journalist."
Congressman & Congresswife: "We are happily married."
Nate: "How did you enjoy your romantic sunbathing trip to Mykonos? I couldn't see your face, madame, but that ass was crunk."
Congresswife: "How dare you, Congressman! Why you told me you were in Athens!"
Nate: "You mean you are unfaithful, Congressman? How could I know that?"
Congressman & Congresswife: "We are getting a divorce!"
Nate: "I am the very hand of destruction! I wish I had my puppy here."
Congressman, verbatim: "And here I thought you were the nice one in your family."

Gossip Girl

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