Especially if she's lying.

CLUB A

In the books, the kids are constantly getting these outrageous unrealistic opportunities, like, Serena's always this billboard model for no reason or Blair wins the X Prize or something, and while there's been stuff like that on the show, the Writer Dan stuff on the show has always been the most in-your-face kind of story like that. So of course it's no surprise that when Dan ambushes Noah Shapiro at his dinner, the whole thing turns out to be an elaborate setup where everybody at the table is actually a professional person with an interest in Dan's career.

Noah, verbatim: "It's impossible, you know, he's got to say to himself, I'm a writer! I'm a writer!"

Dan appears and Noah introduces him as "my inspiration for the character of Dylan Hunter," and Dan takes a firm stand, and says he wrote the book, and the entire table of adults bursts into applause and the piano starts playing and Noah's like, "This is your editor at S&S, this is your agent that you didn't know you have, Alessandra, this is your manager, this is the Sultan of Brunei, this is your personal shoe-shopper, et cetera," and then they sit Dan right down and buy him a steak and toast the future of publishing or whatever and it's so, so dumb and so, so awesome.

Whenever they start handing dresses to Ivy or putting Blair in charge of Vogue or whatever, I mean I kind of know why that's exciting, but the concept of this vast literary conspiracy waiting to attack you with garlands and champagne and total artistic validation, well... It's a writer that wrote this teleplay where this happens, you know what I mean? The unrealistic delightfulness of that kind of WTF moment is not lost on us any more than the secret fingers-crossed of anybody who's still waiting around for it.

PRADA

Lily: "Great day in the morning I am drunk."
Rufus: "A toast, to my wife and her freedom. Even though we're doing exactly what we did the whole time she was in that anklet."
Ivy: "Let's also toast to second chances! For me also!"
Carol: "I'll toast your demise, harlot."
Lily & Rufus: "Due to Blair's historical mood swings, and the fact that Jenny and Eric died while on safari, vacating their bedrooms, we would like you to be our new child. It will be safer."
Ivy: "My loneliness is equal only to your own. What a family we shall make of ourselves."