Gossip Girl
The Jewel Of Denial

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
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Charlie The Unicorn

Jamie Johnson: "Lily, I am okay with saying hi to you. I am Walking the Walk."
Lily: "I am desperately lonely and a social outcast, so I feel okay about you too. But don't let me keep you from telling Nate exactly how fucked he will be if he turns on our pack of wolves and documents our ridiculous lifestyles as an insider."
(Dan: "Or me. You are kind of the point of things right now, turns out. Kinda brilliant, actually.")
Jamie Johnson: "I'm actually doing okay these days. Occupy the Upper East Side!"

Aw, it was nice to see him. Good egg. Meanwhile, Serena has called to tell Lily that Ivy is at the party or something, but there are no cell phones because of Andre Leon Talley, so they are surprised to see Cousin Peepers roaming the party in a gorgeous gown.

Ivy: "Lily, welcome to the outside. I bet you feel just like that young man whose life you ruined, when he was finally free to walk the streets and sleep with the formerly underage."
Lily: "Cousin Peepers, your mom is standing over there, looking haggard as usual with her eyes bugging out. She may be packing."

Chris Benz: "Why is everybody calling me The Sucklord? I am famous!"

MY GOD THE ROMANCE

Dan: "Simon Doonan, you're probably the only person diminutive enough that I could take, even in my weakened state. Please loan me Blair for a second so I can make sure she's following my life instructions to the letter. I'm just so concerned, you see, about her welfare."
Doonan: Splits to write another offensively awful series of his hit autobiographical series about being a faggy anachronistic stereotype, cling to fame some more, and check on his pot of gold.

Some cute old gay dude in the background spends literally ten minutes discussing Blair's ass in her gown.

Blair: "Why do you have this envelope I tore up and tossed in the trash? Are you seriously this insufferable? Are you turning into Vanessa Abrams? Do I need a restraining order?"
Dan: "Guess, yes, yes, and wouldn't help. Apparently Dorota has mastered the use of Scotch tape due to breaking vases in your house or some such clever-sounding nonsense. While on that topic of ill-considered dialogue, I also want to assure you that she did not read the results, despite that being a literal impossibility, while she was separately taping the letter and the envelope together and then placing the letter into the envelope and then handing it over to me, your jailhouse hack."

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