Yet another extra spends a while discussing Blair's ass. Every time Dan and Blair advance through the crowd for their next crouch-and-bitch, some dude in a nice suit stares at her ass and holds forth. It's awesome and unreal. I like to imagine the conversation being, like, "What a dress! It's Jenny Packham, you know." And the other person being like, "Yeah, we're at a Jenny Packham show, so..."
Blair, verbatim: "Don't you have your own life to ruin?"
Dan: "I am meddling and insufferable enough that I've got time to spare. Also, I am lying to myself about my entire reasons for stalking Noah Shapiro, so trust me when I say I will get to that dinner on time. No need to worry about me."
Blair: "I wasn't. I just want you to leave and stop bugging me and climbing into my clothes with me and judging my every move like I'm Serena."
Dan: "It is how Humphreys show love."
Blair: "It is also exactly how Chucks show a pattern of abuse, apparently. Feminism is less of an ideology and more of a buffet, when you know nothing of its history or wider implications and prefer shipper self-dealing to actually creating change in the world around you."
Dan: "You can't hide from this forever! I said so!"
Blair: "Why not? Apparently, fatherhood holds no appeal for Louis, and Chuck will always be Chuck. If anything, I'm not hiding. I'm facing the truth. It doesn't matter what test results say. I'm in this completely alone. It doesn't matter about the implications for Chuck or Louis."
Dan: "But like, don't you want to know?"
Blair: "The only thing I want is to finish this fashion show, sans outer-borough escort."
Dan: "You're right, it's your problem. Just kidding! Allow me to physically invade your space and force you to take this envelope, out of love and concern."
Blair: "Step away from me, please."
Dan: "No! I can't! I care too much. Take this envelope and open it or I swear to fucking God."
Blair: "Seriously, get out of my space."
Blair shoves Dan across the room, into yet another waiter with a tray, and then somehow this makes her look bad, again. Shame on you, Blair! It's not like he broke a window or something. Stop overreacting! Next you'll be saying he raped a bunch of people or sold you for a hotel, despite none of those things actually occurring.