Gossip Girl
The Jewel Of Denial

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Charlie The Unicorn

Nate: "Why did you just use me to destroy a marriage? I haven't figured that part out yet somehow."
Payne, verbatim, for the cheap seats: "The truth is, I'm not interested in interviews with New York's elite. I want their secrets and scandals."
Nate: "Um, Gossip Girl is your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite."
Payne: "I'm coming for her too."

Does anybody else hate that? It's been five years and I gotta say it. "Source into" may be grammatically okay, but it's uncool usage-wise and it sounds dumb. Every week it's like Kristen Bell is pinching my leg just a little when she says that. Not enough to hurt, and immediately forgotten, but still kind of a dick move in the same way as "to boldly go." I am not that kind of flack and I don't complain about that kind of thing unless there's a reason, but I thought I should at least register one complaint before I go back to bitching about "concrete jungle where dreams are made of" like usual.

Nate: "Thing is, she doesn't start shit..."
Patently: Untrue.
Nate: "...Plus, if you use that footage, you'll be blacklisted."
Payne: "That's true, she does have the benefit of anonymity. Not to mention her weirdly exclusive focus on a bunch of children."
Nate: "What you should have done is stolen their phones and committed outright felonies."
Payne: "Brilliant! Grab the phones and meet me somewhere backstage."
Nate: "I don't see a problem with that. All I ever wanted was to be useful."

(He makes sure not to steal Blair's phone, or Dan's, but has no way of knowing that the unmarked phone is Ivy's.)

HONOR AMONG THIEVES

Carol: "Are you fucking kidding me? Impersonating an actual person?"
Ivy: "Look, Blair Waldorf has given me some wise counsel about fucking you over."
Carol: "Well, yes. Obviously Blair Waldorf possesses the keys to success."
Ivy: "What are you going to say? Policeman, this is the actress that I hired to impersonate my daughter so she could go off her pretend medications in an elaborate scheme to undermine my own parental responsibility and thus get access to my daughter's trust fund. Please arrest her for taking part in my fraud. How's that gonna work? It didn't even really make sense the first time around."
Carol: "I don't even get why you would want to associate with Rhodes Women anyway. We are the worst."
Ivy, verbatim: "I came from nothing. Everything here sparkles. And that family that you can't stand has been kinder to me than my own family ever was. I'm not walking away from that. And if you try to take me down, Carol, you're coming with me."

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Gossip Girl

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