Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
The Temper Trap

Thunder Perfect Mind.

So of course Serena wants to blow her mom's spot as loud and publicly as possible -- because see above re: her inability to understand herself in relation to the simulacrum -- and Chuck's all, "I like the way you think, Mom," and it's fabulous, but not as fabulous as the fact that Serena has just enough Blair perversity in her to bite her lip kittenishly this time, instead of rolling her eyes or calling him gross.

It's maybe the sexiest face she's ever made, because usually for Serena her "sexy" face is the one where she looks brained.

"Charles. I assume you weren't upstairs playing Rufus's guitars?" I wish Chuck and Lily had more scenes together. "If you didn't want me rooting around in the family safe you should've changed the combination," he says, and they get down to business. Lily quickly admits -- now that it's serious -- that she's not trying to destroy Bass Ind., or his father's legacy, but rather to save it. Turns out while he was off dying and coming back to life as a crippled prince and marrying whores and saving his Empire, the old family biz wasn't doing so well.

Lily didn't want her favorite child to get scared about this, so she scrambled every which way to fix it, but now it's all crashing down. "If I sell now, I can control how we sell it and to whom... But if this deal gets messed up, Bass Industries will go to the highest bidder." Chuck gets it: Someone who'll fire the employees and cheapen the brand and ruin the integrity and all that. But because she doesn't want Chuck "helping" -- which is valid also, because you know it would involve coke and blowjobs -- she goes ahead and lets him connect the false dots to Thorpe.

"You don't have to say, I know it's him." Oh, my poor sweet Charlie Trout, reconstructing the hopelessly deconstructed as usual. Since Rufus hasn't replaced Bart in any way, and Uncle Jack wasn't even around to rape your brain, let's see if an old crony can clap you on the back and tell ya you did good and then you'll be a man. (That's so Blair, isn't it? Having them apart is giving great insight into them together.) Still not occurring to him that he's a man either way, for the same reasons S doesn't know what the hell she's doing, and Blair is getting more china shop-bullish than ever, and Jenny blew this popstand altogether.

Lily doesn't agree or disagree, just says in her Rhodes Woman way that obviously means total disagreement, "The important thing is that you believe me when I tell you I don't want your father's legacy to die. I'm trying to save what's left of it. In 24 hours, you'll see. And hopefully Serena will see some things too."

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Gossip Girl




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