Carol: "She ran away and will be murdered! This is what happens to people who hang out with you, Serena!"
Lily: "Don't talk that way about my daughter!"
Serena: "Well, she kind of has a point."
Lily: "I am experimenting with being a parent!"
Serena: "All I did was tell her how you're a total hypocrite that has been Humphreying our family down her whole life but still taking Rhodes money. I don't know why that would unmoor her mind. Unless of course she's dangerously unstable..."
Lily: "Of course Mother paid you to be here. I am so foolish to think that you would have come because you cared."
Carol: "I don't. What part of this is a surprise? Why are you running away crying?"
Blair: "You had Epperly hire me, and call Dan and tell him that he was an Up & Comer?"
Dan: "I am so humiliated! Even though I knew it was a trick!"
Blair: "Pretty lame takedown, honestly."
Chuck: "I just wanted you to see that you shouldn't be kissing him!"
Blair: "We are not together, and you kiss everybody."
Chuck, tellingly: "You're not supposed to kiss him!"
Blair and Chuck painfully/awkwardly agree that their kiss meant "nothing" and Blair admits that she was going to come clean to Chuck tonight, about the kiss and what it made her decide, but that in the end Chuck is still just a tool.
Blair: "Dan Humphrey may not be royalty, but at least he's not a child."
Which doesn't help, because the whole point of going back to Chuck was to rule out the possibility of Dan, which makes her even more pissed at Chuck, considering this was not the hill they were supposed to die on. That shit was straight out of the Miss Carson playbook: Oooh, Chuck invited Dan to the opera at 8:30 instead of 8! Total social burn!
Rufus: "It's one thing to be edged out of my family; I'm used to that and frankly it confirms my self-esteem issues and gives me something to bitch about. But cutting Lily out of her own photo?"
William: "None of that actually happened. Let me figure out what went wrong before Lily finds out."
Lily: "Finds out what?"
William: "Nothing, you look pretty."
Lily: "That's cool, I generally just agree with everything you say. Plus, I'm like 95% white wine by weight at this point. I'm going to the pokey tomorrow! Take my picture, Cecil B.!"