Damien shows up in Jenny's bedroom making cutie-pie faces and acting like they're dating, or whatever. Turns out Lily's been sleeping until noon and thus won't notice a little early-morning neck-nuzzling. Jenny's been on fire about their "date" and thinks any number of inappropriately grown-up Italian places might work, but Damien has another idea: The Endless Knights Trilogy, starring Olivia's boobs. Um, are you going on a date with Nate?
Nope, turns out this too is age-inappropriate, as instead of containing the adventures of Vampire Guinevere and her Vampire Round Table or whatever the hell, the DVD case contains a huge array of brightly colored, delicious-looking pills! (Um, are you going on a date with Nate's Mom?) Jenny's like, "Right, we're not dating, I'm your drug mule." Damien acts like this is adorable, and nuzzles away, but then his dad calls and he's actually attractive for like five seconds before sighing and answering, telling his dad he's just "with a friend." Jenny, who is a Humphrey, which means "sometimes is cool and sometimes is just clueless in a way that ruins fucking everything," pulls all manner of faces at Damien's brutal not-telling his dad about his not-girlfriend and their non-relationship. Instead of indulging this Humphrey bullshit, Damien's like, "So can I stash these pills at your underage house until tonight?" And of course Jenny is like, "That's kind of like being a grownup in a relationship, based on what my idiotic forebears have modeled for me, so yes."
They eat more motherfucking waffles on this show... I think before the Humphreys started getting their stuff all over everybody, the UES was free of waffles, as of all carbohydrates, but now it's waffletown. This time it's Nate, while Serena prowls around Nate/Chuck's house in a gigantic man shirt. Now, she's bigger than every other guy on this show, and Nate is smaller than every other girl on this show, so I ask you: Whence this shirt, which hangs off her like a real boyfriend's would? And color-coordinated, no less, with her leg warmers? How does she get by in these costumes? I'll tell you: She looks fabulous in them, is how. So she grabs at Nate's waffles -- literal -- and he tells her to use a plate, so she responds by grabbing his waffles -- figurative -- and then they fuck on every possible surface, including the entire contents of the refrigerator -- including the huge mixing bowl of freshly whipped cream just hanging out in there next to the strawberries -- and finally collapse on the floor, where it will now be known by its new name, Breast Central.