"This is what you want?" Elizabeth's not familiar with Chuck's intensity -- which at baseline could shake a continent -- so when he fixes her with his steely gaze she has no idea how confused and ambiguous he feels about this moment. He just looks hateful, because of how his face works. She leaves, Serena comes running up, and he's like, "That sucked." Everybody feels sorry for him. Except for Serena, who feels sorta sorry for him but mostly for herself, because she knows her daddy wouldn't take that check and run: He would sweep her up into his arms and never ever leave again. So clearly, something has gone wrong in the story.

Packing her monochromatic wardrobe, which is of course 90% scarves as usual on this show, Jenny is surprised to see Damien appear at her door, looking ghoulish as always. He says he's there to say goodbye -- and get his drugs, of course -- and she acts like a petulant child and brings up how he called her his "friend" and totally blindsides him with this abrupt switch into being a pain in the ass. "I'm getting exiled to Brooklyn because of our relationship, and I don't even know if we have one." Damien is as amazed by this bullshit as he is naturally condescending, and so he then makes three classic mistakes.

"Jenny? You're in high school. [BOOM] Your father's not completely out of line. [DOUBLE BOOM]." Her angry smile follows him out into the hallway and down toward the elevator, and her tiny insane frame follows. "I'm not gonna go write your name in a heart on my binder, okay? But you cannot expect me to start WWIII with my dad without even giving me something to fight for!" He's still bemused by all this, and says her dad won't let her see him anyway [BINGO BOOM], and she's like, "Here we go." Like you can actually see her decide to go completely nuts and burn down the entire barn at this point. "I fight with my dad all the time. Last year I ran away! I'm not afraid to stand up to him!"

Because what says "maturity" like those statements? Oh, but she's not done. Motherfucking Jenny Humphrey has not even started. As Rufus comes running up to yell at her some more, she takes the scarf full of pills and throws them on the floor, and then gives him the mad-eye like "What." Rufus is all, "Whose pills are those," sounding insane, but his daughter sounds even crazier: "THEY'RE MINE!" Even Gossip Girl is like, "WHOA!"

I mean, I know I said she was going zero-to-crazy in sixty seconds last week, but this is so balls-out bizarre that it's sort of admirable. There is literally no reason for her to do this, except to hurt everybody in the entire house and act out her ambivalence about this relationship. Because the heart part of her likes this Damien, for about a million obvious reasons, and the brain part of her is screaming, "Jenny Humphrey! I am appalled!" So the only way to solve this, one way or the other, is to stop the running back and forth and just be like, "Save me or don't, but this is how crazy I'm feeling right now." (c.v., everything Blair has ever done in her entire life, right down to the "I can't believe I'm acting this crazy" second-thought faces she always makes.)