Eventually Lily is revolted enough by the story that she coughs out an "oh my GOD" with a worried look at Jenny, and so he wraps up the story with how dad was almost okay but then he found this GIANT BAG OF PILLS and freaked out this morning and came over here to... Um, show them to Jenny or something. Even Rufus gets hung up on that part. So Damien explains that he was out of sorts and crazed and Jenny's such a good friend that he knew she could help him, emotionally, which is why he was there when Lily woke up, and that she's such a good friend she was willing to let all this shit with Rufus and Lily and the Secret Life Of The American Teenager drama go down, so as to be a good friend.

What I wanted Lily to say was, "We've all been there! Why, my own daughter killed a man during a coke-fueled threesome" and then bust out the ubiquitous waffles. Instead, everybody nods at everybody like, "This is so intense." But Damien is now so many different people at once that when he apologizes for appearing to have slept there -- and then most especially to Jenny for both the lie part of the story and it seems the actual truth of what happened -- all she can do is blink. Because maybe, just maybe, she has figured out after the first ten red flags that Damien Dalgaard is a fucking sociopath. Maybe. (Spoiler: She has not.)

While Blair and Chuck have sadness sex instead of talking, because there's not really anything left to talk about -- which is sad but not as sad as if there really were something to talk about -- Jenny's like, "Insane story! Man, if that were your life for real you would be the trashiest person on earth!" Damien clarifies that yes, and yes. She immediately apologizes and feels sad for him, but also gets a huge boner because that makes him the most fucked-up person she's ever met. That's like Agnes plus Chuck. So Rufus has finally flushed the pills and told his wife to fuck off forever, and he's ready to go, and also Jenny will not be dating Damien, dad drama or no dad drama. Jenny hisses and spits at her dad about how they were totally in love, and Rufus sighs and says the coolest/truest thing he's ever said: "You're young, you'll get over it, get your suitcase." He needs somebody around to tell him that when his feelings get hurt, ten times a day every day.