Jenny appeals to Lily, but she's on Rufus's side -- and not only because she's scrambling to keep her marriage together -- which sends Jenny in a whole other, awesome direction: "Okay, you're just taking dad's side because you guys are in a fight!" Rufus protests, but she continues, and is absolutely correct: "Really? Because Lily's sleeping till noon every day, and you're spending your time hiding at the loft. So just because you finally found something that you guys can agree on, it doesn't mean that you're right." (LOVE THAT. As much as I always love fights where all the people are right, because almost every real fight is like that. Outside of the stupid internet, actual contrarians are few and far between.)
The Humphreys bounce as Humphreys always do, in a cloud of self-righteousness and slight confusion, and Lily's left begging Rufus to reconsider acting like a fucking adult for once in his life, but Rufus has completely committed to the idea that the UES -- and by obvious synecdoche ex-kisser Lily herself -- are a taint that ruins brains and lives and souls, and thus it's less about him pussing out and using his daughter's obvious problems as a convenient excuse, and more like a zombie movie where he's the hero. Which honestly, I love that, because you had to know there would be massive bumps on the road of Rufus and Lily, and as silly as the drug-mule thing is anyway, it seems really organic as a tangential way of getting there. He was always going to leave in a huff, but doing it in this grotesque way that manages to insult not only Lily and their life together but her actual other children in the process... That's just excellently Rufus.
In bed, Chuck finally apologizes for being so cagey about Elizabeth -- I guess not knowing that Blair stuck her tiny pinkie in there toward the beginning of things and tossed the ultimatum at Elizabeth's feet in the first place -- and explains that he wasn't so much shutting her out as plugging his ears and trying to fix the situation without once ever having to hear Elizabeth say, "I didn't want you." And additionally -- I guess Blair's sudden emotional clarity about everyone and everything is catching -- he realizes that writing the check was a test, but not the test he thought it was. At the last second, he says, he realized he didn't want her to take it. Blair's touched, and of course at just that second Serena's meddling bears fruit: The phone rings, saying Miss Fisher is downstairs and wants to come up. They are well amazed.