Blair paces: "I shouldn't. I turned over a new leaf! A new, non-meddling leaf from the trust tree! If he wants to keep secrets, then... But he shouldn't! Something is bothering him, and he's not telling me about it. What am I supposed to do? Right?" Awesome. I love how she approaches innate normal behavior like it's a math problem: That's the B I know, and have missed immeasurably. The Blair that acts like every moral dilemma she has is something nobody has ever had to deal with, because they were all born with a conscience while she's just doing the best with what she has.

Serena sighs and awesomely tells her what to do: "Blair. Put the phone down, and talk to him when he gets home." B hands the phone over, and stupid Nate once again ruins everything by visibly jerking and then admitting he's been seeing this number all day: It's where Chuck called from a second ago. Maybe phone numbers are his savant thing. So Blair freaks out, and no matter how much S shakes her gorgeous hair around, Blair's gonna play that message. It's Elizabeth Fisher, calling once again to try and explain herself, and saying she's checking out of the Algonquin today. Serena asks who Elizabeth Fisher is, and Chuck comes home with a thundercloud over his head, explaining immediately that she's the ex-Evelyn, and his mother. Staring commences.

Chuck says that the whole story about her dying -- you know, the one that took two seasons to tell, was beautifully constructed, and explained not only Bart's coolness toward his son but Chuck's entire pathology, not to mention Bart's relationship with Dan and the whole Charlie Trout thing, all of which are called into bullshit question if this story is true -- was a big lie. After all, Bart "also told [Chuck] kids wear suits to kindergarten and that blue chip stocks are great for birthday gifts." Heh. I mean, I'm really unsettled by this twist and unwilling to believe it's even true, still, but that's funny.

Chuck yanks on that necktie while Blair explains the other parts of the Chuckly Gothic tale -- the midnight gravesite, the broken locket, the other half we've not got -- and while Nate's all manner of concerned for his boyfriend, Serena has rocketed back into her own shit like only a Rhodes Woman can. Watching this episode back I was touched by a lot of it, a lot of the Chuck/Blair action, and loved the Dan/Vanessa stuff even more than the first time. But the thing that just fucking kills me about this episode is Serena, which is not only brilliantly acted and has a powerful arc across the whole episode, but one of the most desperate things I think we've ever seen on this show. It's so rare to see her wrong-footed that watching her this whole time, clawing at the walls of the rabbit hole as she goes falling down... Chilling. And subtle, and relatable, and believable. But mostly depressing and scary, in the best possible way.