Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
At Least We Burn Trying

Which actually is exactly how she always deals with Rufus, so maybe it's not that wildly incomprehensible, but the hateful crazy eyes she's shooting all over the place, combined with the zero-win situation she has now created, made it really hard to understand. (I'll see your scarf full of pills and raise you a "Daddy Warbuckses don't grow on trees, at least not a tree that grows in Brooklyn," wherein Jenny found homelessness preferable to admitting that a high school diploma might come in handy down the road.)

"No, Rufus, I did not know about a giant bag of pills," Lily spits at her husband, and makes a beeline for all the wine in the world. Damien's just as confused by all this as the rest of us, and Jenny's response is sort of amazing: "I may be a bitch, but I'm not a little bitch. I told you I wasn't afraid!" Damien's unimpressed -- because she is still making no sense at all -- and there's a moment where she feels dumb, because she's being dumb, but then she goes all steely again and decides to ride this wave right into the beach.

Jenny is just all kinds of sassy while Rufus does his dipshit parenting routine, to the point where he gets so angry he has to flip it around and be like, "I look at you and I don't see my daughter anymore," which is the first of the hundred things he says that she doesn't openly laugh in his face -- it's as amazing as it sounds, watching her bitch out on him so major, but knowing he totally deserves it -- and then suddenly Damien's like, "The pills are mine! Actually my Dad's!"

Which is surprising, but mostly grosses Jenny out, because really what's going on is that she's pissed at her dad and using Damien against him, just exactly like Rufus is using Jenny against Lily: For blackmail. Do what I say, or I'll do this awful thing instead, which will hurt you because you love me, so either way you love me, so do what I say. So if Damien saves the day, she doesn't get to force Rufus and Lily to A) get their shit together, much less B) make them pay attention to her, or C) notice that she is herself personally floundering wildly. Because breaking up Eric and his boyfriend and becoming a drug mule just didn't do the trick, and they're all drifting further and further apart.

Serena chases Chuck down the street, begging him to stop, and he tells her to leave him out of her fairy-tale bullshit, and vanishes, so she starts apologizing to Blair, and Blair is once again fantastic: "Please. You and I both know why you did this, and it has nothing to do with Chuck." Serena sighs, looks at Nate for a second, decides to ignore him, acknowledges that Blair is totally right and she's been acting insane and pulling other people's drama into her own drama, and checks out. Nate tries to come with -- because he has no idea, because she would never talk to him about her dad, vis-à-vis Dan's point last week about her not ever wanting to talk about anything real -- and she jumps in a cab without him, but Blair's still pissed enough that she won't explain Serena's stuff to him at all and additionally peaces. Left all alone, Nate wanders the world with perfectly tousled hair and manages to accidentally have sex for money like eight times on the way home.

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Gossip Girl




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