Scott says he wants to talk to his family first, and tells Vanessa that she can't say anything about it before he does, because she has feelings for him. She goes for it, despite the fact that any rational person would have processed by now that the worst part of his scheme would be how he's whoring her out, but whatever. I'm sure they have actual feelings for each other, despite Vanessa being the worst person on Earth and Scott having no discernable qualities whatsoever, so it's okay. Most couples are like that in real life anyway.

Serena catches Carter getting into it with a guy at his hotel desk, apparently having killed his credit card before ordering three bottles of '95 Dom reserve, and refusing to pay. Serena offers to pay for him, obviously, and he tells her that's not the point: This also was not him. I realize the whole point of this story is showing Serena what it's like to be the people worried by Serena's own sketchiness -- which is hardly ever her fault, at the outset, although she does tend to fuck it up for herself beyond that point -- but you'd think she'd be feeling some déjà vu about this. Carter gets upset and she promises that she believes him, trying to convince them both that she does, and he calls her a bad poker player -- boy likes poker and poker metaphors -- and she's like, "I want to believe you've changed? You're just making it hard for me." He points out that without trust, they are nothing, and strokes her face and wanders off. He should just go to Rufus's house. They got waffles.

Blair has transformed herself into a hideous monster. Shiny unremarkable dress, truly stupid-looking braids tackled all around her head like a baldness scarf. Chuck doesn't even blink, just offers her "her favorite vintage" of champagne ('95 Dom, which we knew at one point but hardly registers as a CLUE here) and his apologies. He suggests that they both stay out of Sotheby's tonight, and figure out other ways to do their thing, in order to save the relationship. She tells him she already got her bidding paddle, and he suggests they find another use for it, because -- again -- they're such terribly jaded eighteen-year-olds that only weird sex games can possibly get them up and running.

Dan meets Vanessa at, you guess it, a coffee shop, and even though she was just asked to STFU about Scott, she's apparently reasoned, that doesn't mean she can't act totally sketch and cryptic about him and fuck everything up for everybody by telling Dan nothing whatsoever except that Scott is a dangerous individual living under an assumed name. Dan points out how fucked up that is, and Vanessa has the balls to get attitude about it because Dan just doesn't understand the situation, except for how she's the one creating the situation and then refusing to talk about it, so they sit sort of mired in their own retardation until Georgina shows up and chases her off with a nonsensical dumb joke -- "Blair actually locked me out, and by the size of the sock on the doorknob I didn't want to knock" -- and Dan invites her to the auction for no reason, and then Georgie talks Dan into high-powered spycraft to find out what's up with Scott. Instead of, you know, asking Vanessa to cut the crap for once and stop making it all about her.