Some Sotheby's cutie starts the bidding, while Blair commences giving Chuck an over-the-slacks so he won't be able to concentrate on the bidding. The McMullan is, of course, the first item up for bid. While Blair roughhouses his crotch and Chuck recites sports scores, they throw them paddles up repeatedly. When the price reaches $7100, Blair tells him in no uncertain: "Enough. I need this, and you're gonna let me have it." He assures her that he's not doing it, and she tells him that she plain and simply needs "this society": "You don't turn down destiny," she says, completely forgetting his destiny altogether, and he hisses, "It's not destiny if you have to barter your way in. You're special enough on your own. You don't need some group to say you are."

Aww. She points out that getting this photo is similarly pathetic for him: "Since when does Chuck Bass pay for a partner? The Chuck I knew bribed no one but me." And then all of a sudden the thing is sold: To Serena van der Woodsen, who gives them not one, not two, but three fierce motherfucking looks before swishing her hair around awesomely, doing her gorgeous hip-walk thing she does when she's modeling, and taking off with every ounce of their mojo. Everybody else is gracious enough to let her complete the entire sassy catwalk before getting back to business.

Tragic Mom stands directly in front of a framed photo of Little Edie and exposits the shit out of you, answering questions you didn't even know you had: "1) After your phone call, 2) I got in the car. 3) I came straight to New York. 4) I had Lily's address. 5) The doorman told me about the auction." So that explains it. She tells Scott that she's not there to stop him, but to stand by him, and apologizes for all the lies: It had more to do with dead Andrew than it did with Rooster and Lily St. Regis, and she only acted like, and forced his dad to act like, they were crazed kidnappers because she was bereaved. But now she's fine with it, so whatever. She's like about as interesting as her kid. They hug and are tragic. Somewhere Vanessa's hugging muscles are burning, because if ever there were a tragic hug she deserved to be in the middle of, it's this one.