Bart follows Lily around the house bitching at her about how they need to know what's going on with the kids, as it's happening if not sooner, and this also involves hiding people in their bedrooms for weeks at a time undetected, and Lily's like, "This is complicated." Bart's like, "But did you ground Eric?" And Lily kind of half-lies like that thought had entered her mind and she just hasn't executed it yet, and Eric tries to end-rush past them, but Lily catches him and she's like, "Oh, P.S., we totally know about Jenny." Which blows Eric's mind AGAIN about the surveillance, and he doesn't even have the presence of mind to reply. Lily tells him to fetch her with a quickness so she can start undoing the damage of years of Humphrey parenting and save a family. I love this show for so many reasons, but a biggie is how every week one of their families gets "saved" and it's always a different one and then the next week everybody's family is fucked up in some new way and they have to get saved again. I love that.

Blair walks into the kitchen, where Cyrus Rose is totally noshing on her pie. Like, going to town. She thinks about stabbing him to death, but when he criticizes her recipe ("The ratio of cinnamon to nutmeg? Not Enough!") and giggles, the rage becomes too powering even for her, and she wanders dizzily off to find a shotgun. Running into Eleanor on the stair, she tries to sound convincingly sane: "Mother? Why are you letting Cyrus ruin everything? It's all about his family, and his traditions, and his notes on my pie..." Eleanor, noting the ascending squealiness of her voice that promises Armageddon, pulls her aside: "You always think the worst of people! Cyrus made reservations for dinner at your favorite restaurant, the Gramercy Tavern, so he's having the chef make your favorite recipes... oyster stuffing that you like...?" Blair is momentarily calmed by the concept of anybody meeting her needs, but gets back on the rage horse immediately about how that's hardly the point. Eleanor gets intense and conspiratorial, not angry like she normally would, but more conciliatory: "The point is that Thanksgiving is a family holiday, and this..." -- she points to B, then herself, then in Cyrus's general direction -- "...Is our family now." Eleanor chucks her under the chin and nearly laughs: "Now you get with the program, and fast." Eleanor heads over to Cyrus and he feeds her pie and it's disgusting, just revolting, and meanwhile Dorota's like, "I know a thing." Blair tells her to cough it up ("Who do you work for?") and she folds. "Here's the scoop, they totally got engaged today, and they're telling everybody tomorrow." She's overjoyed for Eleanor, but keeping it quiet, and she's like, "Tomorrow when the whole stupid family is here, it's going down." You can almost hear the clock in the belly of the crocodile as Blair seethes about this one.