Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Thank You For Not Letting Me Be Myself Again

"For the rest of the country, Thanksgiving is when families come together to give thanks. But on the Upper East Side, the holiday thankfully returns to its roots: Lying, manipulation and betrayal." Gossip Girl, you are a bummer and a half today. Maybe the hangover from your apparent drug weekend last episode is rebounding on you. Seek help. "And from what we hear? Just like the Indians, someone else is being pushed out of their home..." So I guess Cyrus is America and Blair is Native America? That's iffy, GG, not to mention offensive in some ill-defined way I'm not interested in worrying at, but on the other hand your righteous indignation on the part of our aboriginal brothers and sisters is noted. (Is Gossip Girl actually Vanessa? Is Gossip Girl Vanessa's lesbian sister with the van? Is Gossip Girl that little fake Indian girl that Marlon Brando sent to the Oscars?)

Although GG's cheery/hateful tone fits the scene perfectly, considering we're listening to Mates of State, who've taken the sweet melody/dark lyrics twist of the greatest '90s chick bands to this whole new place.

It's my only offer: stifle copies of myself ... In secret we believe we're nothing, nothing, nothing that we need ... Built up a wall made out of finer things/ Piled it high, so we could barely see it ... My only offer: Stifle copies of myself

Blair bitches about how Cyrus's stuff is filling up her house, and how "stuff" includes "annoying relatives." S recalls Aaron's sweet memories of his Nana, and Blair's like, That bitch leaves orange kiss marks on my face: "It looked like I'd been spray-tanned! And Cyrus' nephew spent the morning talking to me about Corn: Grain Of The Future. And his sister asked me to go shopping with her!" Serena leans against the locker thinking that's sweet.p>

Blair goes off about how she's going to make it the most perfect Thanksgiving ever, which you know means she's going to end up doing something shockingly crazy, and demands that S come over and help her bake a pie, but S is all about Aaron Aaron Aaron and whatever, and B points out that Lily always DVRs Big Love, so she'll get a kick out of Aaron's Ethical Slut ways: "He's just like Bill Paxton, only younger and with scruff." B puts forth yet again the viewpoint that Serena is doing herself a disservice by dating nonexclusively -- the implication is that, just as with Dan and Georgina and Blair herself, the downside of Serena's sort of diffuse personality is the risk of losing herself altogether -- and S rolls her eyes. "I'll admit it's been hard. I like him enough that I don't want to date anyone else... And you can't get the prize if you don't compete, right?" Blair points out the fifty things wrong with that sentence, and then Dan comes walking up. B's like, "BTW, I'm going to be a total bitch to him," and Serena asks her not to, and B is like, "Oh, I'm going to," all of this by saying the opposite but as fake as possible.

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Gossip Girl

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