Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Thank You For Not Letting Me Be Myself Again

Blair tries once again to act not-crazy under the auspices of being totally crazy: "Mother. Is there anything you want to tell me?" Eleanor says yes, but wait for dinner. "Of all the things you've done, Mother, this is one of the worst." Eleanor is honestly confused. "I'm your daughter. Lumping me in with everyone else to hear the news?" Eleanor's like, "Too crazy, I have to ... um, call the restaurant and confirm our reservation. Sometimes I do that." Blair, screaming, launches herself at Dorota immediately: "Dorota! Get it together, we're leaving. If I'm just like anyone else to her, doubt she'll notice I'm not at dinner." Dorota's like, "Um, Thanksgiving is your favorite holiday, you never effing shut up about how it's your favorite holiday." Blair says that Thanksgiving is no longer her favorite holiday, because everything is ruined, because... Cyrus ate pie. Blair, I wish you were more of a mystery, because when I can wince at very clear memories of doing precisely the same shit as you, for the same reasons, in the past so recent you, dear reader, would be shocked unconscious, it makes me feel like... It is I who am in fact the crazy one.

Vanessa -- who's catching up on some paperwork, doncha know -- runs into Nate at Bedford Avenue. Why's he there? Oh, he's dropping off a Pixies box set and thank you note for Rufus, because you see he borrowed a Pixies box set from Rufus. A box, one presumes, containing CDs. (Oh, sorry: CDs were these plastic discs, actual physical objects, that the people of a certain era would insert into an ungainly machine in order to produce musical sounds. They were tremendously fragile but very popular, and the the people would go to worship them at huge sky-scraping temples called VIRGIN, which in that time was a kind of mercantile arrangement. One never knows how much to share when something randomly becomes a fucking period piece for no reason.) Anyway, I do believe in Nate's thank you note, because the fact that he is that guy is why he's my favorite, because even with no money he was still Nate, whereas if say Dan suddenly became rich, he'd still be classless. They talk about how they're both uncomfortable visiting the DUMBO loft because of Jenny, and he almost starts crying about how -- through no fault of his own at any point, which is the worst part -- he managed to alienate Chuck and Dan and Vanessa, his three closest (if somewhat blink-and-you'll-it) friends, and is now totally alone, and when he goes to the Caribbean to eat worms, he will do so unaccompanied, and she has no idea what he's talking about, but he's doing such a great acting job that she's moved in spite of herself, and he says a frantic but cryptic goodbye, and I just... Wish something truly awful were happening to Nate every week, because he is really good at this.

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Gossip Girl

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