Lily hands out the champagne and Aaron doesn't want any so then Serena doesn't want any and Lily's like, "Not that I'm complaining but like, is this some kind of joke?" Serena is insistent that she requires no champagne, despite having lived on it most of her life, and is so committed to her lie that she goes, "I'm only seventeen!" Lily points out that this has never stopped her before -- Lily's about a sheet and half to the wind herself -- and Serena gets stressed and sends Lily off to show Aaron her art collection. He recognizes a painting and Lily praises his eye, and they walk off together so that Serena can go ahead and have a whole conversation with herself about her shoes, right out loud where anybody could hear her talking to herself. And not even like a conversation, like small talk. She's like, "Self, I'll be right back, I have to go change my shoes because they are killing me! You know how I get in tight shoes! I'm gonna dance later, how about you? Why yes I think I am, but we better change shoes first. Good idea!" Maybe she's talking to Cecil. Or hey maybe she's dating Cecil, and Aaron Rose is just the price you pay.
Jenny is wearing a charming, sophisticated plaid dress and looks like a million bucks, proving she can at least dress for dinner, and listening to Eric freak out about the files. "This is crazy, Jen! These are e-mails of mine, photographs, notes from my psychiatrist at the Ostroff Center..." Jenny mourns the degradation of doctor/patient confidentiality sympathetically, and asks what we're all thinking: "What about Serena's? And your Mom's?" Eric says he can't even bear to open them, they're five times as big, and Jenny's like, "I sort of care. Hey, how about my emancipation papers? I lost them." Right then, Lily calls up to them to come down and socialize, clearly on her third glass of bubbly which is when she's at her awesomest, and they scatter and scamper downstairs.
At the doorbell, Bart grunts about how Chuck is missing -- I guess his PI hasn't notified him about the high-level service to his country Chuck's managed to get pushed into -- but it's not Chuck, it's the Humphreys. Bart and Aaron gives similarly WTF reactions to their arrival, and Lily hands Bart some champagne. Dan manages to give a fairly unfake surprise that Aaron is unhappy to see him, and Bart does that "Daniel" thing he does, and then Jenny appears at the top of the stairs, freaking everybody out.
Serena is sitting on her bed hiding from the champagne when she gets the ever-so-pleasant double-whammy of both Dan and Aaron appearing at her door. "What's ... up?" she says weakly, knowing they're once again compared notes, and Dan tries to win the insultedness sweepstakes with a preemptive strike about how "[her] boyfriend" just called him a liar and why on earth would he do that when everybody knows Dan's soul is untainted by anything resembling a fault of any kind, and she's like, "Actually, Dan, maybe we should talk in private about what a self-centered little Gossip Girl you're turning into," and you can actually see Dan reassess the situation and do her a solid, admitting that the whole thing was a lie. It's super decent. Then of course he fucks it up by apologizing profusely to Aaron for lying while sending judging eye rays in Serena's direction. Aaron takes off for the Waldorf party, kissing her cheek, and Serena just rolls her eyes at Dan and sits on the bed like, "Yeah, we both know what I did, sorry you got pulled into it." He's fairly awesome and makes her laugh about what an ambitious lie she was trying to pull off, and they giggle about her notoriety. They apologize to each other, and he gives her a short speech about how if they learned anything last year, romance depends on full disclosure... Plus, the way this show works, it's all going to come out eventually anyway." Eric comes in with the files and goes, "Oh, it just did."