Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
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Thank You For Not Letting Me Be Myself Again

Nate comes into the coffeeshop to see Vanessa, and then spots Chuck there and gets pissy. Vanessa says it's less of an emergency and more of an intervention, and the FBI dude comes in while she's explaining about what he told her and Chuck. I love how... Not deferential, exactly, but just how patient the dude is with how dramatic they all are and how long it takes Nate to process everything. Basically, they explain, the Captain's in town to do even more dastardly shit than he did before, namely extortion and kidnapping: his plan is to get Nate and Anne all hyped about going back with him to Dominica, then get her parents the Vanderbilts to pay him off to go away without them. Nate's horrified, but doesn't really question that this is exactly what's happening, because he knows how bad his dad sucks. FBI guy explains that they couldn't trust Anne or Nate with the info because they could have been in on it, but then Vanessa explained that he wouldn't leave town without saying goodbye to her and Chuck, and FBI guy was like, "That makes total sense." So now they're trying to get Nate to fix it, again, this time by talking the Captain into turning himself over for good. They all seem to think that this is realistic, but even more realistic is the fact that the FBI guy is like, "You guys chat about it endlessly, I'm going to go read the paper. No funny business!"

Jenny word-vomits all over Rufus about how shit has been blowing up: "I'm sorry I didn't call you back, okay? A lot has been happening! Agnes kicked me out, she burned all my dresses, and then I had to crash with Eric, I had nowhere else to go and I couldn't tell anyone I was living here because then they'd tell you, and you'd be really mad..." Rufus makes a Serena-worthy pout and babytalks, "I'm not. I'm out of angry. Miss you too much." Jenny calls him out for guilt-tripping her at a very stressful and homeless time in her life, and he explains Dan's brilliant insight that he should tell Jenny that he loves her. Jenny, of course, is like, "And?" And the and is... Awesome. "And... I love you so much! I'm willing to let you go if that's what it's gonna take to get you back. And when the time comes for a court hearing, I won't stand in your way. But there's nothing you can do to make me stop loving you." He hands over the papers and waits to see if the magic talking worked its magic, and she's like, "I'm out, sorry. Love you too, ex-dad." Then he has a migraine in the hallway outside the elevator.

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Gossip Girl

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