Gossip Girl

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Thank You For Not Letting Me Be Myself Again

Blair walks into the kitchen, where Cyrus Rose is totally noshing on her pie. Like, going to town. She thinks about stabbing him to death, but when he criticizes her recipe ("The ratio of cinnamon to nutmeg? Not Enough!") and giggles, the rage becomes too powering even for her, and she wanders dizzily off to find a shotgun. Running into Eleanor on the stair, she tries to sound convincingly sane: "Mother? Why are you letting Cyrus ruin everything? It's all about his family, and his traditions, and his notes on my pie..." Eleanor, noting the ascending squealiness of her voice that promises Armageddon, pulls her aside: "You always think the worst of people! Cyrus made reservations for dinner at your favorite restaurant, the Gramercy Tavern, so he's having the chef make your favorite recipes... oyster stuffing that you like...?" Blair is momentarily calmed by the concept of anybody meeting her needs, but gets back on the rage horse immediately about how that's hardly the point. Eleanor gets intense and conspiratorial, not angry like she normally would, but more conciliatory: "The point is that Thanksgiving is a family holiday, and this..." -- she points to B, then herself, then in Cyrus's general direction -- "...Is our family now." Eleanor chucks her under the chin and nearly laughs: "Now you get with the program, and fast." Eleanor heads over to Cyrus and he feeds her pie and it's disgusting, just revolting, and meanwhile Dorota's like, "I know a thing." Blair tells her to cough it up ("Who do you work for?") and she folds. "Here's the scoop, they totally got engaged today, and they're telling everybody tomorrow." She's overjoyed for Eleanor, but keeping it quiet, and she's like, "Tomorrow when the whole stupid family is here, it's going down." You can almost hear the clock in the belly of the crocodile as Blair seethes about this one.

Lily sits Jenny down and is totally sweet with her, and Jenny's very cognizant of how awesome Lily's being, how desperate she is to get Jenny out of her house and back with Rufus, how grateful Jenny is for getting to stay there, she gets all of that, but she's also like: "Um... You don't know how he's been, so... Yeah." Lily reminds her gently that Rufus is her father, and joke of the universe or not, the punchline is that Jenny has proven herself incapable of raising herself to the degree that Rufus has succeeded for the past fifteen years. Jenny's not hearing it and lays a patch upstairs, and Lily totally-by-accident finds the emancipation papers in her purse, which of course is too heavy for even Lily's cool to withstand.

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Gossip Girl

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